We’ve all had our fair share of fights and exchanged angry and hurtful words with our partner. The problem is that, with each hurtful exchange, the relationship turns sour. When your spouse says hurtful things in a relationship, it becomes the basis of almost all the future fights to come.
Blame-shifting becomes an easy way out for that moment but it also harms your relationship. So what should you not say in an argument? Here are 6 things you should never say to your significant other.
# What have you done for me?We tend to ignore the efforts and sacrifices our significant other puts in for us. We see only our version of the relationship and tend to set our perception and opinions on solely those. When you are in the midst of a fight asking what’s your partner’s contribution to the relationship, is the most hurtful thing to say.
Efforts in the relationship don’t always have to be spoken or reminded of. Your partner might have done a lot for you without you even knowing. Understand how hurtful this is for someone who does a lot for you.
The most hurtful thing to say to a guy is to tell him he is a lazy husband, a selfish boyfriend or he is trying to control you and not letting you fly. But when you cool down you realise all the things he is doing for you always but the worse words have already been uttered.
# Your just ruined my dayPeople in successful marriages understand that there will be some good days, some off days. No matter how bad a day you’ve had, you should never tell your partner that he/she ruined your day.
You might be facing some pressure at work or having some family drama, but this doesn’t give you a reason to lash out on your partner. Saying something like this, which you don’t even mean is something you should never say to your partner. Think about how your partner feels when you blame them for ruining your day.
# Look at them and look at usEvery relationship is different. There’s no need to compare your relationship with anyone else’s. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. What you might be seeing may just be a façade of the reality of their relationship. They might be hating each other like crazy when no one else is around.
Comparing yourself with other couples in front of your partner makes them feel demotivated and lowers their morale. But in the modern world of fake relationships and Social Media PDA we end up comparing our love life with those projected in the virtual world, and we end up hurting our partners.
# Why do you always embarrass me?Such a thing happens when both partners belong to different backgrounds, like perhaps in an inter-caste marriage. Your partner tries to match up to your expectations, but something or the other always lacks.
Instead of appreciating your partner’s efforts for trying to fit into your world, you reprimand them for trying to embarrass you.
# Yeah, your job isn’t as important as mineRespect is one of the essential elements of a relationship. In no way should disrespect be tolerated in a relationship. If you can’t respect your partner, you can’t expect your partner to respect the relationship. No matter whose job is more demanding, a job is a job and everyone takes pride in doing what they do.
Every hurtful word uttered has its consequences. Saying hurtful things like these will only make your partner lose respect for you.
This is something most husbands end up telling their wives who are homemakers. They also end up telling this to career women who might not be earning as much as them. But this can create a permanent wound in the relationship that could be hard to heal.
# You’re my biggest mistakeWe all at some point have doubts regarding the relationship but we don’t ever say it loud because we know that it’s a phase that will pass. Sometimes when things get heated up, we tend to tell our partner that getting involved with them was a mistake.
At this point, all the years of courtship are put to question just because of this phrase. Even though you didn’t mean it, your partner begins to think that you don’t love them anymore.