One of the worst parts about anxiety is your fear of its impact on the people you love. Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend, parents, or friends, it can cause you even more anxiety. But you can learn how to explain anxiety to someone you love without fear.
Anxiety is a mental illness still widely misunderstood by society. It is something you do not choose and would not wish on anyone. It is a draining struggle to function daily.
You may wonder what sort of expertise I have in offering you advice on how to share and explain anxiety to your loved ones. Well, I have struggled with anxiety severely for more than seven years. Only recently have I begun to get a hold on it and learn how to live with it and face it head-on.
An important part of dealing with anxiety is sharing your story and struggles with the people you love. Although they may not be able to empathize fully, they can be there for you in the exact ways you need.
# Let go of expectations
Before going into a conversation where you are opening up your biggest insecurities, you can’t expect a certain reaction. Everyone will respond differently. Someone might hug you and just listen. Others might ask questions or interrupt.
If you expect someone to freak out, be annoyed, or understand immediately, you will go into it even more nervous and come out of it frustrated. Anxiety is not letting someone know you are afraid of planes. It is a daily struggle and everyone will react differently.
# Be ready
Sharing your struggle with anxiety with someone in your life is not something to do at the spur of the moment. If you aren’t ready, it can negatively affect you.
Before I was ready, I shared it with some people in my life. I got frustrated when they didn’t react how I wanted. Although anxiety is a mental illness, it wasn’t fair of me to put that on them or that frustration on myself.
It is hard to explain something to someone you love when you don’t quite understand it yourself. Take your time. You’ll know when you need those in your life to know.
# Prepare themYou don’t want to freak anyone out. Anxiety is a big deal and a true struggle. But causing your loved ones to panic when you tell them won’t do anyone any good.
Let them know you want to share something that is hard for you, but you don’t expect anything other than respect and understanding. Also, let them know anxiety is a process. You may always have a level of anxiety inside of you. And if they love you, they will understand.
# Be patient
As I said, everyone will react differently. That means it will take some people a while to get used to it or know how to treat you. Some people may walk on eggshells around you for a while. Others will continue to treat you normally because they know this is just a part of you.
Think about how long it has taken you to come to terms with having anxiety. Whoever you share this with may know nothing about it, so give them a chance to learn before writing them off as uncaring.
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Help them understandIf you explain anxiety to someone you love, you may have to do more than just say, “I have anxiety.” That means something different to everyone. They could interpret that as social anxiety, nervousness for a date, or something else.
Explain to them how your anxiety affects you. For instance, I do not struggle with social anxiety. Rather, I have anxiety when I go far from home or am in crowds, so I would explain that taking a spur of the moment trip or going shopping on Black Friday would be a nightmare for me.
Give your loved ones a definition of what anxiety means to you. Don’t hold back. Anxiety is essentially fear. Fear of rejection, loss, etc. So clue them in on all that you can.
# Answer their questionsThe word anxiety comes with a lot of questions. Even for me, someone who has been dealing with it for years and uses the word daily. So answer their questions to the best of your ability. They may want to know how you feel when you have an anxiety attack or how you face it.
If they don’t have any questions, encourage them to ask. You may not know exactly what they want to know, or what would help them understand, so let them know you want to get on the same page.