Building intimacy without sex might sound tricky. That’s understandable, especially as the two typically go hand in hand. But, intimacy can manifest in many ways and physical touch isn’t the only form we can engage in as part of a romantic relationship.
It’s important to have variety when it comes to nourishing ourselves and our significant other. Sex is just one way to be intimate with your partner, but there are plenty of other things that you can do together to foster a closer relationship. Looking to discover more about intimacy without sex? Check out 6 ways to be intimate without sex below!
# Talk, but also listen
Part of intimacy is feeling heard. But it’s also important to listen. “Intimacy is a process of discovery with one another,” says Joel Bennett in his book, Time and Intimacy. Over time, it may seem there’s nothing new to discover, but that’s not true. When you make a habit of sitting down with your partner, whether it’s asking about their day or delving into things you’ve never discussed before, you’re showing your partner that what they have to say matters.
Often, shared silence between partners is a sign of comfort, and that’s okay. But if you’re concerned it’s because you have nothing left to say to one another, it’s time to take the conversation deeper. Talk about your hopes, dreams, and things you’d love to do together to get talking again.
# Do something fun togetherDate night is great, but have you ever gone to an amusement park with your partner, spent the day on a paddleboat, or even organized a picnic in the park? Simply spending time together, just the two of you, is a great way to be intimate without sex.
Try something new together, like taking a cooking class or going to the gym. Not only will you be spending quality time with your partner, but you’ll also stimulate your brain and generate new topics of conversation.
# Hold handsIt sounds simple, and it is, but holding hands can bring intimacy to your relationship in a way you might not have considered. We’ve all seen older couples holding hands in public. It elicits an immediate response of, “Isn’t that sweet?”
Why not bring that to your relationship? Holding hands creates an immediate connection with our partners and reminds them we care.
# Take it further and touch
No, we’re not talking about sex, but intentional touch. Holding hands is wonderful, but maybe you want more? Try giving your partner a back rub or a full-blown massage. Touch their arm when you’re talking to them. Cuddle on the couch when you’re watching a romantic movie on Netflix. Little touches throughout the day remind our partners that we’re present and paying attention.
# Try each other’s favorite things
When thinking about how to be intimate without sex, getting involved in your partner’s favorite things is a great place to start. Do they love hiking but usually go alone? Make a date to go together next time.
Learning about each other’s favorite past times is not only a way to create intimacy without sex, but it gives you more to talk about. There aren’t many better things in life than seeing someone you love’s face light up when they’re talking about something they’re passionate about. Get in on the excitement and share that passion.
# Shower together
This may seem like it leads to sex, and for some, it might. But showering together can be one of the most intimate things you can do, even when it doesn’t lead to sex. Wash your partner’s hair and take the time to trace the lines of their body. We all know how amazing it feels when our stylist washes our hair, imagine how much better it is coming from the person you love.