6 Tips To Help You Set Boundaries With Your Partner

Boundaries are important in every type of relationship. Whether it’s an in-law or a new partner. Figuring out how to set boundaries may be tough, but it’s an important form of communication. Without them, you could find yourself frustrated with the relationship down the line.

Even if you’ve been with someone for years, it’s never too late to figure out the best way to set boundaries. Here are some ways you can start setting them with someone you care about.

# Talk about the importance of alone time with your partner

Are you the type of person who really values alone time? That’s totally natural, healthy even! But it’s important for your partner to know. Otherwise, they may push your limits without realizing it or think that you’re avoiding them.

If you feel that you need alone time to unwind after work or to read the weekend paper in peace, say this to your partner. Explain how it’s nothing personal, and actually to do with you and how you care for yourself. Communication is key.

# Stand your ground while learning how to set boundaries

Your feelings matter. If something makes you uncomfortable, you should figure out how to set boundaries and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

This includes incidents in the bedroom. If your partner does something sexually that makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to tell them and set boundaries. There’s no need to feel awkward or embarrassed.

# Keep calm and try not to turn it into a fight

In figuring out how to set boundaries, you may worry that it’ll turn into a blow-up argument.

If your frustration with your partner has led you to wonder how to set boundaries with them, cool down and take some deep breaths before you have the conversation about it. The goal here is to improve your overall relationship, not make it more strained.

# Avoid blaming each other and anyone else

Try to think about how you’re phrasing your words. Putting some thought into how to kindly bring this topic up with your significant other will go a long way. Trust us.

For example, do you feel uncomfortable with how much of your relationship your partner shared with their parents? Then saying something like, “I am not comfortable when you tell your bossy mom about our personal business” is probably not going to go down too well.

# Remind yourself that boundaries can change with time

It’s possible that as the relationship goes forward, you’ll naturally start to feel more comfortable with your partner. So, your boundaries may end up changing. That’s perfectly fine, as long as you’re comfortable with it.

When you learn about setting boundaries, you need to remind yourself that this isn’t a permanent list. Instead, it’s just what feels right in the moment. Make sure your partner knows that. It’ll let them know there’s room for personal growth.

# Understand that boundaries are an essential part of every relationship

If your partner makes you feel as if setting boundaries is unhealthy, this could be a relationship red flag.

Everyone should set boundaries at some point, otherwise, they risk getting lost in mismanaged situations. If your partner mocks your need for certain freedoms, it’s important for you to see that as their rebellion for not getting their way.