6 Tips To Rebuild Trust After Cheating on Your Partner

If you ask a person what they would do if their partner cheated on them, most would say they would leave. However, when it actually happens to you, it’s possible that you’ll feel differently. Cheating is heartbreaking and devastating, but it doesn’t have to be a full stop if both of you are willing to work at fixing the damage. You can learn how to rebuild trust after cheating and lying, but don’t expect it to be easy.

Though many couples choose to end a relationship or even marriage because of an affair, there are still many who trudge on and end up with a relationship that’s stronger than ever.

What doesn’t kill your relationship can make it stronger, after all.

# End the affair completely and prove it to your partner

No, don’t set up a date with you, the person you cheated with, and your partner. That’s just asking for trouble! Instead, do it via phone, text, social media, or email. Just make sure the person you cheated with gets the message that you want to end things and all contact as well, and you can provide proof to your significant other.

This may be the hardest and most awkwardly heart-wrenching hurdle. But, ensuring your partner knows how you ended it will help calm their mind in case there are still lingering doubts that the affair is still happening.

It goes without saying that you should also block all contact with that person and again, be able to prove this to your partner.

# Clearly admit your mistake

Don’t blame it on the third party and definitely don’t blame it on your partner! Infidelity is a conscious decision that you chose to get involved in. After you’ve apologized to your *possibly unreceptive* partner, tell them about why you chose to have an affair in the first place.

Try your best not to blame external influences such as alcohol or goading from your friends, either. Instead, let your partner in on what was going through your mind to commit such an act of betrayal.

Maybe you felt taken for granted. Or, maybe you were just looking for an ego boost. Perhaps you just have poor self-control. Whatever it is, make sure the reason is genuine and you are sincere.

# Let your partner vent

When you’re looking to rebuild trust after cheating, you need to remember that your partner has every right to be angry.

But when they let out the frustration, the anger, the tears, and the accusation, try your best to be patient. Know that this is a consequence of your actions and you simply have to take it because you betrayed them.

Never allow your own frustration or anger at yourself to spill over and be pushed towards your partner. Shouting at them for being upset for being cheated on is not going to help here.

# Answer any questions openly and honestly

Give honest answers to your significant other’s questions, no matter how ashamed you are of what you did. You’ve kept your partner in the dark during your affair, so it may be his or her way of shedding light on the times when you lied about your whereabouts.

The more your partner knows about the sordid details, the less his or her imagination takes over to fill in the blanks and make things seem worse than they actually are.

# Shower your beau with attention and affection

The thing about cheating is that your partner is hurt that you were lavishing attention on another person when this should have been exclusive between the two of you.

Chances are, during the affair, your partner was deprived of your affection. This is the perfect moment to make it up.

Go the extra mile, woo them with flowers, or win them over with breakfast in bed. Remember, you’re learning how to rebuild trust after cheating and lying, but affection is also important.

Just don’t think for a second that those grand gestures will be enough to get you off the hook. Be sincere and know that it simply helps, but doesn’t solve anything. Of course, your partner may ridicule you at first for being extra-sweet or accuse you of “faking affection” because you cheated. That’s inevitable, but all you can do for now is let your partner see that you’re genuinely sorry, and you’re willing to put in the effort to salvage the relationship.

# Be open about your whereabouts

This may seem like something you’d get from a clingy partner. But you’re both working on rebuilding a relationship of shattered trust.

Letting your sweetheart know where you are, allows them to keep an eye on you and feel reassured. For sure, it’s going to be a little annoying and you might feel like you’re under surveillance. But again, it’s a consequence. Learning how to rebuild trust after cheating and lying does take a little sacrifice on your part. But, you should have thought of that before you cheated, right?

This also serves to calm your partner’s mind that you’re just doing regular stuff even if you’re not being watched.