6 Ways To Deal With Difficult In-Laws

I met the love of my life early last year through a group of friends. In a couple of months, we couldnít hold on anymore and before we know it, we were married. A lot of people, especially our mutual friends, thought that our life was going to stay a fairytale. You know, singing birds, coffee in bed, romantic evenings, and whatnot.

But real life is very, very different from reel life, and it wasnít until I was married that I realized the bitter fact ñ in-laws. For the first few weeks, everything seemed perfect, in fact, it was awesome. My in-laws werenít living with us, so our life was pretty much the same as it was before our wedding. We were both sexually active, had breakfast in bed, went to movies, and did much of the same things we usually did together. Then the bubble burst.

I know itís difficult, but when youíve tried everything possible so that they can treat you with love and affection, and it fails, then itís time to learn how to deal with them. Remember, you are an individual, whether youíre a husband dealing with your wifeís parents or a wife dealing with your husbandís, this is how you deal with difficult in-laws.

# Work with your spouse you're in this together

It's very important to remember to never leave your partner in a situation where they have to decide between you and them. Try and understand their relationship with your spouse, and always keep your opinions between the two of you ñ trust me on this, unless they ask for it.

# Set your boundaries No means no, it doesn't mean okay or maybe

You might be living a healthy lifestyle before they arrived. Now you have to do everything, and you're missing out on things you enjoy as a person. Don't let this happen to you ñ if 4pm is gym time, it should be gym time, no matter what. Make sure you communicate that to your spouse. If you don't set your boundaries, you'll find yourself dancing to your in-laws' tunes.

# Be strict in a polite manner

Once you set your boundaries, make sure you enforce them, and this means that if you don't want your in-laws to drop in ìat their convenience,îù make sure you ask them to call you first before they visit. If they don't call you and they knock your door, don't open it. Make it seem like you're not at home, and that you could have stayed back at home if only they had called.

# Communicate to them yourself

If they've done something that hurt your feelings, tell that to them in a polite manner yourself. Don't involve a third party to do the talking for you. Most of the times, we ask our spouses to do the talking, and this needs to stop ñ you should voice your thoughts yourself so you don't look like you're hiding behind your spouse all the time.

# Stop expecting them to be ideal in-laws

Don't expect your FIL to help you with the dishes, or your SIL to help with the laundry, or your MIL to help you bake cookies with your children, or your BIL to bring you groceries. The more you expect, the more you hurt yourself. Snap out of it, and accept that there are just some people we need to deal with, difficult as they may be.

# Keep your head cool, even if they deserve to hear what you have in mind

If you really want peace of mind at home, keep your head cool. There's seriously no point in insulting or attacking their characters, because it simply won't make a difference. What you can do is stand firm in what you believe in, especially when it comes to house rules, and enforce the rules in the politest, gentlest, and most understanding tone you can muster, hard as that may be.