Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, or so the saying goes. And sometimes, when guys are randomly trying to make a move on a woman, that really does seem to be the case. A lot of the time, this clash comes down to the different emotional registers that men and women have. What a man might often consider to be subtle, for example, a woman may view as something akin to a car crash.
The very fact that most guys target articles with titles like “How to charm her pants off” or “Get out of her friend zone and into her bed” says a lot about how most guys operate— seeing sexual intercourse as an end game rather than part of a relationship.
But that isn’t how women usually work. That’s why this article uses the phrase “sweet talk” rather than “charm” or “seduce.” It’s intended for guys with a little more substance about them, and who’d prefer a full and proper relationship with the object of their affections rather than just a quick tumble between the sheets.
# Eye contactBefore you actually begin your attempt at sweet talk, start maintaining some serious lingering eye contact first. This negates any element of surprise by showing her that you’re interested in talking to her, and eases you into the conversation without interrupting the general flow.
# Don’t use pick-up linesOne of the most important parts of sweet talk, especially at the beginning, is that you must avoid looking like a creep at all costs. Unfortunately, those tried and true pick-up lines will likely earn you little more than a cold shoulder. [Read: 70 hilarious cheesy pick-up lines to get a girl laughing]
# Wait for the right momentMaking your first foray into conversation with the girl you have your eye upon must be done in a timely and appropriate fashion. She, nor anyone else, will thank you for leaping into the fray mid-conversation. Uncool and unlikely to impress.
# Be respectful
Rowdy John Travolta moves rarely work in real life. Decent women, contrary to popular belief, do NOT like a bad boy and, instead, feel deserving of a significant degree of respect. Failure to do so will get you nowhere.
# Body talk
When you eventually get to talk to her, make sure your eye contact is strong, your body is squarely facing her, and your posture is upright. Slouching, glancing, and turning away will just be interpreted as a signal that you’re not really interested.
# The humble question markQuestions are so important in sweet talk, as they show that you are interested enough in her to let her do some talking, and that you aren’t an emotionally selfish person. Just try not to rattle them off like a game show host.