Getting guilt tripped isn’t easy. No matter what you do to make things better or to redeem yourself, it’s like you can’t get the stain off from the last time you made a mistake. A lot of the time, we’re our own worst critic, and we tend to do the guilt tripping for ourselves. But what if someone else is rubbing the guilt in your face all the time?
To put it simply, guilt tripping is when someone brings up your past mistake, and they coerce you to do something as a form of making up for said mistake. For instance, you may have unknowingly hurt a friend with a careless comment. Your friend may guilt trip you by mentioning it when they ask you for a favor. In your guilt over your supposed transgression, you feel like you have no choice but to do what your friend wants you to do.
As you can imagine, being guilt tripped by someone is almost as good as being trapped into doing something you don’t want to do. There are cases where you already feel like you have absolved yourself from your mistake, and this is when guilt tripping won’t work on you. However, in some cases where the guilt is still fresh or recent, others may use this to take advantage of you to the point of abuse.
# Stand up for yourself like an adultThis means not losing your temper, not being hurtful or disrespectful, and not taking it out on others who haven’t done anything wrong. If you’re being guilt tripped about an issue that you’re working on, express to the guilt tripper how you’re working on it. But if they’re guilt tripping you over something that’s already in the past, keep those people where the event of their guilt trip is – in the past.
# Admit when you’re wrong
This is crucial. If you’ve done something awful recently, and someone close to you found out, they have every reason to guilt trip you initially. Everything they say, regardless of their intentions, will seem like they’re guilt tripping you. But after a while, it shouldn’t happen anymore. It should be about solutions. This being said, admit you’re wrong when you’re wrong, and get ready to face the music. If you have the nerve to commit the act, you should have the nerve to hear what others have to say about it.
# Handle your own issues
There are some guilt trippers who, at the start, may seem like helpful people who are always willing to do things for you. But after they have done you a favor, they’ll keep bringing up that favor, so that they can get something from you. The lesson here is this: don’t let others do things you can handle yourself. No matter how convenient it is to have other people do things for you, you never know when those favors might come back in the form of guilt tripping.
# Remain calmWhen you’re being guilt tripped for something you didn’t do, or something you did a long time ago, it’s easy to get frustrated. However, calmness may be your greatest ally. By keeping your anger at bay, you’ll remain level-headed, say the right things, and not say things you’ll regret later. It might also make your guilt tripper think that their ploy isn’t working, so they might just leave you alone.
# If you owe them anything, give it to themIf you don’t owe them anything, say it. Seriously, if you owe them money, a car ride, anything, just give it to them. It’s not good to owe anyone favors, especially those who demand more than what they gave. If you don’t owe them anything, speak up about it. Tell them that you’ve already paid what you owed, and there’s nothing more they can get from you.
# Decide if you want this person in your lifeIf someone is guilt tripping you over irrelevant things and is always more than happy to do it, do you really want them in your life? Whatever relationship you may have had and whatever bond you had forged can be ruined when they decide to guilt trip you over the littlest things. In cases like this, you may come to realize that severing ties is preferable to putting up with their incessant guilt tripping.