Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a way to honestly read someone’s intentions from the start? It would save a whole lot of pain, heartache, and time, if you knew your relationship is a lie at the start. Unfortunately, it’s not possible to know someone’s true intentions until you’ve spent a lot of time with them. Even then, they might be cleverly hiding the truth from you.
Relationships require trust to thrive, but it’s easy to trust the wrong kind of person. Some people are masters of disguise, dressing themselves up as something they’re not and using others for their own gains. When this happens in the world of love and your emotions are invested, the end result can be devastating.
Now, I don’t want to paint dating and love as a huge battlefield that forces you to play devil’s advocate with your own heart, but there are some situations which certainly aren’t what they seem. It takes a special kind of person *with the word ‘special’ uttered in the most sarcastic of ways* to take someone’s emotions and use them to get what they want. Unfortunately, plenty of those people walk the earth.
# You’re dating a narcissistIf you’re dating a narcissist, your relationship is a lie. That’s the simplest explanation. Narcissists are not capable of feeling and showing love. They have a total lack of empathy within them. In that case, a true and healthy relationship isn’t possible. Narcissists use and abuse those around them for their own gains. You deserve better.
# You’re being usedThere are a million reasons why someone might be using you, and none of them are okay. Narcissists use you to look good. Nonetheless, others use for different reasons, such as money, convenience, a place to stay, work, the list goes on. In this case, the relationship is a lie because it’s not about love. It’s about something they’re getting from you, or you provide to them.
# They’re cheating on youWhen someone cheats on you, does that automatically mean the relationship is a lie? Sometimes, but not always. Mistakes are made and it’s down to you to decide whether you can forgive and move on, or whether you can’t.
However, if your partner is cheating on you time and time again, your relationship is a sham. You truly do deserve someone who treats you with a hell of a lot more respect.
# The foundation is built upon a lie
If your partner lied to you at the start of your relationship and it was a big lie *the foundation for your relationship*, question how rock steady the entire thing is now.
They might have told you that they were divorced when they were merely separated. Maybe they told you that they were struggling with being cheated on in a former relationship, when nothing of the sort happened. They might have children that they haven’t told you about.
It can be anything, big or small, but a lie is a lie. When a lie isn’t rectified and the truth told, it continues to snowball into something bigger and threatens the future of a relationship.
# You’re hidden awayIf you’ve been seeing each other for a while and assume you’re in a relationship, you should be openly going out, meeting friends and family, and not hidden away. If you’re hidden away, your relationship is a lie because your partner doesn’t want anyone to know about the two of you. Huge shame on them, I say.
# They don’t see a future with youIf you’ve been dating someone for a while and assume there’s a deep commitment, you would expect some kind of long-term future together. If your partner doesn’t see things that way, but they tell you or show you the opposite, you’re being manipulated. The type of situation can easily lead you to waste many years with the wrong person. It’s a dangerous relationship to be in for that reason.