If you’ve been married for a few years, you probably feel that you’ve got the whole marriage routine down by now. You’ve settled into life together, you understand each other, you are best friends, equal partners and committed parents.
Everything is great, but somehow, in the reshuffling of your roles since you got married and build a family, you could have less prioritise each otheras lovers.
# No Talking about Kids, the House, Relatives or WorkMost couples settle into a routine where you get home from work and then deal with all the issues which have happened over the course of the day. You greet each other and then roll up your sleeves and go straight into problem solving mode. How was school for the kids? Does your son need a little more help with his math? Do you need to work out a new schedule for who should send your daughter to ballet class next week? Where should you plan on celebrating Christmas with your in-laws and parents this year? How was work? Did the washing machine get fixed okay?
Whilst it is great that you have a partner who meets all of life’s challenges with you and works with you to solve them, you also need to be able to see each other as more than just co-parents and friends.
# Remember Your Special Names?Do you call your husband “daddy” or your wife “mummy”. Or even worse than that- “Hey! Help me over here for a second!” now a part of your vocabulary? If it is, then you have definitely stopped seeing each other romantically. Go back to using endearments such as honey, sweetheart and darling. Use those special names you used to give to each other. Step out of your mummy or daddy role and back into your romantic one!
# Add Some Mystery into the MixSure, there is something to be said for feeling comfortable around each other. But have things become so comfortable that you both feel fine being in the bathroom at the same time and one of you is NOT just brushing your teeth?
Bring back some old fashioned mystery into your marriage. Arrange to meet up, plan it all but keep it a secret. Surprise your spouse now and then.
# Feel Good about YourselfWhen you feel good about yourself, you are more open to feeling good about someone else. Your self-confidence increases and you stop seeing yourself as a boring married person, and instead start to feel attractive and positive about who you are in a physical sense. Exercise, eat healthily and find your mental balance. All these help you to feel good and when you feel good, people around you will feel positive about you too.
# Get a Social Life Again
Go out together not just on dates, but with friends too. Sometimes, when you are so busy with family and your other commitments, you stop seeing your friends. Being with friends is important because it allows you to move out of the roles which you may have taken on after marriage. Whilst being a husband and father, or a wife and mother are important, being with friends will remind you of the person your spouse was when you first met. Was your husband’s sense of humour when you went out with friends what attracted you to him? Maybe it was your wife’s positive attitude and can-do spirit during that camping trip with friends that won you over? Going out with your friends will remind you of why you fell for your spouse.