Is there anything worse than hitting the bed and rolling over another night… alone? Marriage is not an easy relationship to maintain. When growing up, most of us had the impression that we would fall in love, Prince Charming would swoop us off our feet, and we would live happily and sexually fulfilled for eternity.
Unfortunately, other things in life get in the way. The good news is that no matter how far things have gotten, you can still learn how to spice up your marriage.
For guys, the same is true. One day they wake up wondering where that vixen who couldn’t get enough went. In her place is a woman who is seemingly never happy, overly critical, and wears a “hands off” sign constantly. Sometimes what we need, and the messages we send, don’t coincide.
# Think about the way that you are talking to themIf you are beginning to sound more like their boss, or worse yet, their mother, that is not something that turns the heat off in a marriage. It is difficult to have sexy feelings for someone who you feel mistreats you with their words, is overly critical, or just downright degrades you.
If you want to turn your mate on, start by changing the way that you speak to them. Sure, sex talk is something that will get their engines revving, but complimenting them on a job well done or speaking to them like you admire them, will give them the confidence to bridge the growing divide that may be happening in your bed.
# Leave them little gifts to say I love youWhen you leave an unexpected gift for your spouse, it says to them that you have been thinking about them and value them. It doesn’t have to be a sexy lingerie item to turn them on. In fact, sometimes if they aren’t feeling the love, giving them a gift of sexual intimacy may feel more like pressure than any real act of gift giving.
You don’t have to spend a fortune, simply leaving them a note that says “you’re the best” or “where would I be without you?” will trigger that sexual desire that they may have forgotten.
# Spend quality timeSometimes it doesn’t have anything to do with attraction. There are times when couples are literally just so tired that sex is one more activity that they just don’t have the time or energy for. Surprise your spouse by planning a weekend getaway. It doesn’t have to be to the Caribbean or cost a lot of money.
If you can’t take the time away, ask someone to take the kids to their house overnight or for the weekend. You can spend the first night in bed saving up energy, and the second you can use that energy for some extracurricular activities.
# Use words of validationIf you never feel like you are doing anything right, it is hard to feel good about yourself or to think sexy thoughts. As a woman, the last thing I want to do is rip my clothes off for some sexual fun when I have been beaten down by life all day.
Validating your spouse by telling them verbally that they are hot, that they are an excellent parent, or even that they make a mean pot roast is sometimes the biggest turn on that anyone can have.
# Live out their fantasyThere is likely sometime in your marriage where your mate has signaled their fantasy interlude. If you want to spice things up, then set it up for them. Whether it is rose petals at the door leading to your room, or chocolate dip to smooth all over each other, make their greatest dreams come true. All it takes is one night to provide excitement to relive for a month.
Living out their fantasy can be a sexual way to turn them on, but there is an overture that you are willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position and to put their wants and needs ahead of your own.
# Do something nice for themSometimes spicing up your marriage is about more than just sex. If you want to find some love spark that may be flickering, do something nice for your spouse.
Letting them know that you are thinking about them, like buying them a sexy outfit or ordering a new sex toy to place by their bed is a great way to remind them of what you think of them and how much you desire to be with