Most times, you and your friend may share the same interests, which is common because that is what brings people together. You may like the same food, clothing, music, hobbies, and so forth. With that in mind, there is the possibility that you share the same taste in guys, and that can be a bit of an issue.
Ah, the issue of certainty. It can sometimes be hard to know if your friend truly does have a crush on the guy you like, particularly if your friend hasn’t explicitly mentioned it to anyone. The trick here is to establish if your friend truly does like your crush or if she’s just interested in him as a friend.
One way to know if she likes the guy you like is by taking note of how often she mentions him in conversation. If she manages to squeeze him into the conversation with the tiniest prompt, she probably has a crush on him. Another more surefire way to know if she likes him is if she tries to get a little flirty with him. This includes trying her best to sit beside him, following him around, or outright flirtatiously touching him.
# Decide if one of you can go after the guy
True friends will be able to discuss if one or the other should go after the guy. If you know the guy is a perfect fit for your friend, then why not let her go after him. If you genuinely support her going after him, then let her know that you are absolutely okay with it. But if your friend wants you to go after him and she offers her support, then go from there. After all, it’s a crush, not a marriage!
Sometimes, friends are comfortable with being open about this kind of situation. You will be able to easily support your friend as she goes after what she wants when the friendship is real. Deciding who can go after the guy will alleviate the issue immediately, so that you both can move on to better things. Plus, both of you can feel good knowing that at least one of you got a great guy.
# Discuss the reasons why you are into himMaybe both of you have specific reasons as to why you are into him in the first place. With your friend, you can discuss the reasons why you like him, and then decide from there what you want to do about the situation.
When you talk about why you’re both into the guy, you may both realize which of you has a better reason for wanting to be with him. For example, you may only have a crush on him because you like his abs, whereas your friend likes him because he’s into the same obscure movies, books, and music she is. From that alone, you can both see which of you has better odds of actually clicking with the guy in question.
# Decide which is more important: the guy or your friendshipTrue friends know exactly how to compromise. When you know that the value of your friendship is more important than a shared crush, then you will not let this minor issue come between you two. You won’t allow jealousy to build up and cause problems within your friendship.
On the other hand, if your friend starts bringing you down to discourage you from stealing away her crush, then that alone is proof that your “friend” values her selfish desires more than your friendship. Is it really worth it to have that kind of friend?