7 Excuses We Use To Convince Ourselves Why we are Single

Whether you do a lot of failed dating or have a permanent date night with your couch every weekend, wondering why you’re still single is common.

I was single for six years and constantly wondered what I was doing wrong. Was it me? Was I too picky? Did I attract the wrong people? Was I meant to be a spinster? A lot of people are single because they want to be. But, I was not one of those people. If you’re wondering why you’re still single, my guess is you aren’t either.

If someone asks you why you’re still single, you probably won’t start with your trust issues or neediness. You’ll probably say something like “I don’t know” or “I just haven’t found the one.”

We don’t like to blame ourselves for our situations. Instead, we convince ourselves that we are still single for a bunch of reasons that aren’t actually true. These things are our ways of denying the real reasons we’re still single.

If you can identify the reasons you think you’re still single, you can start to learn the actual reasons.

# You have bad luck

Yes, this could be partially true. God knows I used this excuse a million times, but luck isn’t all that goes into it. If you blame bad luck on your single status, you say you have no control over it and that just isn’t true.

Sure, you can’t force someone to date you, but giving into this reasoning excuses you from taking any responsibility.

# You’re too trusting

This is another poor excuse we tell ourselves to make it seem like we’re in the right, and everyone else is a stinking liar. We tell ourselves that being trusting is good and positive and that it isn’t our fault that we trust people.

That makes sense, at least on the surface. But, if you are saying that, it probably isn’t true. When people are too trusting, they usually aren’t so self aware.

# You’re an introvert

Poor you. You love being alone and at home. You like to read and watch obscure movies. The thing is there are plenty of introverts that would love to do that with you. Plenty of introverts are actively dating. Using that as a reason for why you’re still single is a cop-out.

# Everyone sucks

When I was dating, I felt like everyone sucked. For every 10 people I talked to, one was decent. But that isn’t the reason you’re still single.

Even though I’m in a relationship, I do believe there are a lot of crappy people out there, but weeding through them is part of the process.

# You don’t have time to date

Technically this could be true, but if you don’t want to be single, you make the time. Yes, you’re busy. But when you want to do something badly enough, you make the time to work at it.

One of my closest friends has two full-time jobs, is in graduate school, yet still found time to meet someone and get engaged because she wanted to. If she can do it, so can you.

# You haven’t met anyone

You meet people every day, unless you’re a recluse *and if that’s the case you’ll need a whole other article*. It isn’t a matter of meeting people but interacting with them.

You won’t hit it off with everyone, but introducing yourself to someone in an elevator, at the bar, or in line at the grocery store is how you meet people.

# People are intimidated by you

I hate this excuse personally. There are people who get intimidated, but if you are holding onto this as the reason you’re still single, it isn’t out of your control.

You are letting yourself intimidate others. I’m not telling you to change who you are. But when you hold onto an excuse like this, you make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.