It’s challenging to remain in a relationship with a narcissist, but it’s not impossible. In some relationships, such as an adult child and a narcissistic parent, the relationship may be very difficult to walk away from. In such scenarios it becomes critical to create boundaries in the relationship to make it work for you.
Setting boundaries with a narcissist can also teach you how to draw healthy boundaries in other relationships in your life. In reality, all relationships flourish with boundaries as they provide a healthy foundation from which to grow.
A boundary in any relationship is a line or a rule that cannot be crossed. In other words, it represents the boundaries or the outer limits of what you will or will not accept in the relationship.
Boundaries are very challenging for a narcissist. Narcissists have a limited sense of identity of the other person in the relationship. They see their own needs as the priority in all situations.
# Moving lines A boundary is a firm limit; it is not a suggestion or recommendation. If you find you are constantly backing off or modifying your limits to accommodate someone, the boundaries aren’t healthy.
# Making exceptions Boundaries are in place for all situations. It is never acceptable to cross the line, and that includes in public or private situations. If you are continually making exceptions, a narcissist will keep pushing.
# Denial or excuses Usually a narcissist regularly attempts to deny or make excuses for behavior. When these issues are allowed to go unchallenged and ignored, the problem will continue.
# Not saying what you need to
If you are always wanting to talk about your needs in a relationship but are afraid of the reaction or are ignored, effective boundaries are not in place.
# Establish your own limitsBefore you can have someone agree to follow a boundary, you have to have the line in the sand. Know what you will tolerate and what you will not. Have a clear understanding of where those limits exist for yourself first.
# Naming behaviors Naming behaviors alerts a narcissist to a boundary or a limit. For example, if they call you a negative name, indicate you heard a putdown, or if they demand you do something for them, state your limit. Do not argue or attempt to show them their errors; just make it a non-judgmental statement.