Catching feelings is often unexpected. You go on a first date maybe planning or hoping to catch feelings, but you don’t go into a job interview or dinner at your best friend’s house expecting feelings to arise. It’s fine when you want them, but when you don’t want feelings heading your way, it’s a major problem.
Having no anticipation for feelings to erupt is difficult. Without preparing, you are stuck in this danger zone of feelings.
Another thing about catching feelings is the vulnerability that comes with feeling something. You now risk being hurt. And a lot of people avoid hurt at all costs.
# This isn’t someone you should have feelings for
If this is the case, it may be the only reason for being afraid of catching feelings that should actually halt you. Having feelings for someone you work with or a teacher can create a lot more problems than it is worth.
Of course, there are exceptions, but often this is the sort of crush to shut down before someone gets hurt more than emotionally, but also professionally.
# You’ve been hurt beforeThis is probably the most common reason to be afraid of catching feelings. And it is a tough one to face. If you have been hurt in the past, you fear giving in to your feelings again.
You expect to get hurt if you have feelings so you try to avoid said feelings. So how do you stop this from controlling you? You just let it go and take the risk. Realize that without that faith in your feelings you will never be able to be truly happy. Always wondering when you’ll be hurt is no way to live.
# You don’t like feeling vulnerable or weakThere is always a sense of vulnerability when you like someone. When feelings are involved you give a bit of yourself to another person, and it makes you vulnerable.
But with giving up control, you are actually stronger by having faith and taking a risk. It is totally understandable to be scared, but you are letting weakness take over if you deny yourself a relationship due to fear of being weak.
# You don’t want to depend on someoneFor those who are independent or have been burned by their reliance on someone else, it can be terrifying to depend on someone. And whether financially or emotionally, loosening your control can cause a lot of anxieties.
Remember that no matter your feelings or relationship, you are your own person. And only you can decide how you feel about yourself.
# You don’t want to stir up old feelingsDiscovering you have feelings for someone new can bring up old heartbreak. In fact, crushing on someone new can put you right back in the headspace you were in with your last romance.
It makes sense that it would make you nervous to catch feelings. But realizing each person is different and every crush and relationship is different can help you shake old feelings.
# You don’t want things to get complicatedComplications are something a lot of people want to avoid. Feelings do indeed make things complicated. Maybe you wanted casual sex so you could focus 100% on work, but are now catching feelings. You may end things so they don’t get messy.
But sometimes life is supposed to be complicated. You can’t avoid confrontation and awkwardness forever. Relationships take work and effort and even drama at times. But all of that is worth it for a good and healthy relationship. Realize complications are only part of having feelings.
# You’re afraid of change
For those who like the same restaurants, the same clothes, the same TV shows, it can be hard to break out of your comfort zone. And catching feelings is definitely out of a lot of people’s comfort zones.
But comfort zones are overrated. Sometimes stepping out of your norm or routine is exactly what you need to be truly happy.