If you think you’re struggling with emotional dependency, research it. From there, figure out if you are emotionally dependent and how to change it. If you are dealing with emotional dependency, then you know it is not just one thing. Emotional dependence can come from childhood, a toxic relationship, as well as so much more.
Emotional dependency is not something easily dealt with. Because it causes your happiness to change based on someone else or the success of a relationship or situation, it can be hard to break from that pattern. Emotional dependency can be compared to addiction. Rather than being addicted to a substance, you can be addicted to a feeling or person.The same way an addict’s feelings are based on the high, an emotionally dependent person’s feelings are based on their link to someone or something.
# Attention-seekingIf you notice that you look for attention from others regularly, you may be dealing with emotional dependency. We all need human interaction. However, most of us enjoy some time away from others.
You may feel it is necessary to always be talking to someone or have attention on you. It isn’t that you have to be the center of attention, but you will do whatever you need to feel that you matter to others.
# Feelings of unworthinessThey second guess themselves regularly. For instance, you may get a job that you are more than capable of succeeding at. In your mind, you don’t think you can handle it.
You may feel not good enough for a certain social group, job, or relationship. Not only do you bully yourself, but you convince yourself you are incapable of taking care of yourself.
# Unable to be alonePeople with healthy mental and emotional capacities enjoy alone time. Someone struggling with emotional dependency will become wildly uncomfortable when alone.
This can mean excessive anxiety when you are by yourself at a party or extreme depression when you are single.
# Self-sabotage
Because those dealing with emotional dependency have such low self-confidence, they sabotage their own successes unintentionally. You may find yourself in a wonderful relationship. Instead of leaning into it, you don’t believe you are worthy of such happiness. So, you act out.
You require this relationship to work to feel positive but act overly jealous or agreeable to ensure it works out rather than being open and communicating your fears.
# False confidenceSomeone who struggles with emotional dependency may appear confident or even conceited from a distance. But, this is a smokescreen meant to fool others.
Someone dealing with emotional dependency may not complain about their looks or talk down to themselves outwardly. What they will do is gloat when someone hits on them, boast about their successful relationship, or brag about how many friends they have. This is to convince themselves and others that they are worthy.
# Submissive behaviorsSomeone who is confident in themselves will share their feelings and emotions. They will speak up when they disagree with something and stand up for themselves.
If you are emotionally dependent on a relationship, you will fall into a submissive behavior, especially when with someone dominant. You will accept foul behavior and agree to things you don’t actually want to do to keep the peace.
# In need of approvalIf you struggle with emotional dependency, you second guess yourself. Even if you know you did something right or are succeeding, you need to hear praise and approval from external sources.