It’s been said more than once that one of the easiest ways to get over a past relationship is by jumping into a new one.It’s easy, fast and a safe way to avoid heartbreak almost completely.After all, old love lost can always be replaced by new love gained.
But what do you do when you find new love, but still find yourself obsessing over your old love?It could happen to any of us.You may date someone new, but inside, you may secretly dream of getting back with you ex.Ever been there?
You may date someone new, but you’ll never be able to truly love them unless you let go of the illusion of love you’ve created around your ex. Your happy moments will never feel happy, and the minor arguments you have with your present lover will only make you want to get back with your ex even more, even though there’s no chance of that ever happening.
Remember, your ex and you broke up for a reason. There’s nothing you can do about it but move on. Fantasizing about it will only make you feel miserable and leave you unhappy, even if you’re in a relationship that’s far better than the one you’ve shared with your ex.
# Comparisons
In your mind, do you constantly find yourself comparing every little detail of your new relationship with your past relationship? You have to understand that no relationship is ever the same. Instead of comparing how one relationship is better than the other, just learn to enjoy the present romance. After all, pros and cons never work in love, instincts and feelings do.
# Bumping into your exDo you imagine circumstances where you bump into your ex? Do you visualize how amazing it would feel or the way you’d tightly wrap your arms around your ex? If you dream of the happy conversations you’d have with each other or how the lingering touches would feel, you’re definitely still in love with you ex even if you feel otherwise.
# You talk about your exHow often do you talk about you ex with your lover, your friends or even with yourself? Talking about exes is a way of keeping in touch with the memories. If someone else talks about your ex, that’s acceptable. But if you secretly look for ways to twist the conversation towards your ex, you definitely haven’t moved on yet.
And just so you know, even bitching about your ex to your new lover is still your way of keeping in touch with your ex’s memory by comparing your relationships.
# You dream of your exWell, I’m not talking about literally dreaming of your ex here. Do you spend a lot of time now and then daydreaming about situations where you and your ex bump into each other and spend time together, at work or on a holiday or some other place?
If you fantasize about scenarios where you and your ex have to spend time together, or recreate a fantasy where both of you fall back into love, you definitely need to work on your moving-on skills.
# Dating with a vendettaAre you dating someone new only to prove a point to your ex that you can find someone just as sexy and awesome as your ex *or even better*? It may be a good way to piss your ex off, but once the high of rubbing it on you ex’s face wears off, you’ll realize that you still have a soft spot for your ex.
# Online researchDo you google your ex now and then? Digging the dirt on your ex once a year is completely fine, and once a month is safe but on the edge. But if you’re googling your ex at least once every week, you need to keep yourself distracted because you still seem to be obsessed with your ex.
And if you do find yourself looking at your ex’s facebook wall, twitter feed or blog every night, you need serious help. You are still deeply addicted to your ex and no matter how many people you date, your ex will always have your heart until you’re ready to move on.
# News of your exAre you excited by hearing any news about your ex, be it their new job or the new person they’re dating? Perhaps, you’re ready to move on but you’re still obsessed with your ex. Carry this on for a few months and you may just end up becoming a stalker!