If you are dreading dating because you think you are no good at it, I get it. I have wondered how to be better at dating. And I was there for a while. I went on dates that made me feel just blah. I didn’t enjoy dating and it felt more like a job or a means to an end rather than something fun I could enjoy.
Whether you are dating just to meet people or to hopefully meet the person, the dating process can be a lot. I know it. You know it. But, it doesn’t have to be so bad.
Really. You can learn how to be better at dating so that you actually enjoy it. And the good news is that it isn’t all that difficult. All it takes is a little practice and a new perspective.
# Take a break
The first thing to do if you want to know how to get better at dating is to take a break. Whether you have been swiping on dating apps so long you have carpal tunnel or go on one date a month, take a step back.
Something is getting you in a rut and isn’t working. Instead of being worried you are wasting time or aren’t getting out there, just stop. Take a few weeks to reflect and get back in touch with yourself. Sometimes you just need to relax and find your independence again. This can help you clear your mind and go back into dating with a fresher outlook.
# Talk to your friendsI find this super helpful, and if you have insightful friends you will too. I think a true friend tells you the unfiltered truth. Ask them why they think dating isn’t going well for you.
A good friend won’t sugar coat it. Rather, they will tell you the truth so you can actually think about it. They hear your dating stories and probably pick up on patterns you may be unaware of.
For instance, my best friend told me it seemed like I was going into dates hoping for a relationship, but that was unrealistic. She told me to go into each date hoping for a good time at the least and a good friend at the most. This made me think about dating as less of a means to an end and more as a fun learning experience.
# Try a new methodIf you have been on the same dating app for months or even years change it up. I don’t mean you should switch to another almost identical dating app, but try something new. Take a class. Go speed dating. Find a single mixer nearby.
Meeting people over the internet may not have the same flow for you as meeting someone in person.
# Try a second date
Just because a first date wasn’t ideal doesn’t mean the second one won’t be. I mean if you don’t like someone then say bye, but if it just fell flat or didn’t have a spark, give it another go.
You never know what date number two has in store. It couldn’t hurt just to give it a shot. In today’s culture, we want things to work now or we move on, but dating isn’t like Wifi. Give it a chance.
# Have hopeI think this is where a lot of people struggle in dating. We get strung along, ghosted, rejected, and start to expect that same outcome. We project our past experiences onto people we don’t even know.
I get it. It is hard to break that because you are used to a cycle and preparing for it is a form of self-preservation. But, just hang onto hope that there are decent people out there. They don’t need to be your soulmate, but they could be honest and good.
#
Go outside of your typeIf you have a type, get rid of it. How many times have you heard a member of a happy couple say, “They are not who I thought I’d end up with?” A lot.
Instead of always going for the same type of person, branch out. Maybe you love guys in suits who work in business, but it never works out. Try dating a guy who does a manual labor job. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new. It could be what you never knew you always wanted.
# Do something different on datesMost of us have a go-to for first dates. Whether that is coffee or drinks, that can get old really quick. These dates are nice and speedy but don’t offer much in the way of fun.
Next time you are planning a date, try something new. It doesn’t need to be pulled from The Bachelor, so maybe not bungee jumping, but bowling is a nice way to branch out from the norm.
Go to the gym. Climb a rock wall. There are tons of ways to get to know someone that include fun instead of just caffeine.