Every relationship moves at its own pace, but to be healthy and thriving, that pace needs to feel comfortable for both people. If you want things to last, it is often best to learn how to slow down a relationship and take your time getting to know each other.
It isn’t rare for a new relationship to blossom quickly. When strong feelings *especially physical ones* are involved, things can get out of hand.
It may feel good in the moment, but moving too fast can lead to a commitment you’re not ready for or a serious relationship with someone you barely know. Whether you don’t want to meet your partner’s family yet, feel like you’re spending too much time together, or your emotions are freaking you out and you need to catch your breath, these should help you learn how to slow down a relationship so you can enjoy your relationship instead of fearing it.
# Tell them how you feel This is the simplest way to slow down a relationship that is moving too fast for you. Talk to your partner. Let them know that you love spending time with them but that you just want to live in the moment more.
Let them know you weren’t planning on feeling so strongly for them and it is making you nervous. Ensure that they understand you aren’t ending things but just pumping the brakes a little. You want to take a Sunday drive, not a lap around the race track. And don’t forget to ask how they feel.
Are they happy how things are now? Are they okay slowing things down so you’re more comfortable? Try to get on the same page.
# Hang out in groupsIf you still want to see the person you’re dating regularly, but maybe want to slow things down with the romance or physical aspects, plan more group dates. Go on double dates or group settings like escape rooms or mini-golf.
This will keep you in each other’s lives and allow you to get to know one another but without the pressure of one-on-one time.
# Spend time with your other friendsNew relationships can sort of take over our lives. We may not cancel plans with friends to hang out with our new significant other, but we may be busy with them.
If you feel this way, try to get your friends together. Go do things you would have done before this new relationship. Then you won’t feel like it’s taking over your life, and you’ll be able to slow down the relationship at the same time.
This new relationship should ease into your life, not be what your life revolves around. This also helps to set boundaries down the line. You should always have your own friends and time to yourself no matter how serious things get.
# Avoid making plans too far in advance If you have been dating for three months and are making plans for a concert eight months from now, it can feel like you are moving way faster than you are.
Making plans that far in advance can seem nice because it says you want to be together that long. But it can be intense early on.
# Don’t text so much
It can seem like the norm to text each other every waking hour. But it is so unnecessary. Not only is talking that much in the beginning A LOT, but it can feel smothering.
You can text good morning and maybe a funny meme you saw at lunch. Then catch up after work or before bed. You don’t need to keep a full conversation going all day long. That is a lot of pressure and commitment when you have a job, friends, hobbies, and more to focus on.
# Take longer to respond to texts or missed phone calls
Some people might call this “game playing.” It could be seen that way, depending on how you use it. But it can also be used as an effective strategy if you want to know how to slow down a relationship.
You see, when you don’t respond immediately, or even in a timely manner, that sends a message. It says either that you’re too busy to answer, or that you are just not interested in responding right away. This isn’t a great way to let the person know you want to slow down, but it can be effective.
The only problem with this is that it depends on how observant the other person is. Some people might not notice that you’re taking longer to respond, and others might notice right away. But it can be used effectively, especially on people who seem clueless that you are really trying to slow down the relationship.
# Don’t spend more than a few hours together at a timeSometimes, you may get into a relationship super quickly, and it may not feel wrong either. Maybe you just feel the intense chemistry, or you both live far away and need to rush things every time you’re together, or your new partner is totally smitten and wants to spend every minute texting you or locked in your arms.
When you spend that much time together early on, it really pushes you together. You get used to having that person around all the time. It feels comfortable but you still really don’t know each other that well. Keep dates limited to a few hours and then you can move it up over time.