You may be someone’s side chick right now, but you can learn how to stop being a side chick. It’s time to break the pattern and be with someone who sees you as their partner, not a side chick. You can do better than being a side chick.In my early twenties, I saw this one guy. We only went on one or two dates, so it was nothing serious. I wanted to see where it would go and if we had a connection. We would text a lot, and he would even phone me. Things looked like they were heading in the right direction. Then one day, he just stopped. And I couldn’t figure out why. What happened?
Well, I found out his girlfriend discovered he was chatting with another chick, and that chick was me. I was shocked. I didn’t even think for a minute that I was a side chick. The good thing is that I wasn’t emotionally invested in him and didn’t need much time to move on. If anything, I was really upset that I was being used by him and hurting another woman. He had told me he broke up with his ex a couple of months ago, but it turned out he had been thinking of breaking up with her for the past couple of months. Now, there’s a big difference between thinking and doing.
# Is this what you want? There are some women out there who want to be a side chick. They enjoy the casualness of the relationship and the lack of pressure. I have my own opinion on this and don’t think highly of women who hurt other women for personal gain.
But then again, this is your choice. Decide the type of relationship you want and if being a side chick is your choice. If you’re tired of being a side chick, then you should change.
# Talk to himMany women stay a side chick because they think one day he’ll make them the main chick. Listen, odds are that’s never going to happen, especially if he’s married. Talk to him and see where he stands. In some rare cases, the guy may be willing to leave his serious relationship and be with you. But either way, you should sit down together and see what’s going on.
# No more sleepovers or playdates with him
If you want to break the pattern of being a side chick, then make some serious changes. I know it’s not easy, but if you don’t do it, you won’t move forward in your life. If he comes over to your place for a sleepover or to hang out, cut it off. The intimacy is the first thing that should end.
# Reflect on your choices
You won’t break the pattern unless you see why you’re going after men who are in relationships. Why are you attracted to taken men? Are you scared of committing to a serious relationship? Is that why you choose unavailable partners? It’s time to look in the mirror and figure out why you do what you do.
# Stop being available
When he has free time, he would come over to your house, or you would take the day off to see him. Girl, stop! If you want know how to stop being a side chick, don’t be available. You being there for every text and call isn’t making this situation any better for yourself. Whether you want to see if he’ll leave his partner for you or you just want to end things completely, stop being available.
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Go through the motions of a break-up
This was a relationship. You were intimate with him and had feelings for him. So, when you decide to stop being his side chick, you’ll suffer the feelings you would have if you were in a relationship. You’re going to feel sadness and then anger, and these emotions are perfectly normal. Process them so you can move on.
# Re-evaluate your relationship goalsWhat are your goals and dreams for the future? What do you want? If you’re wondering how to stop being a side chick, it’s time you sat down with yourself and really thought about what you want out of your life. Write down or create a vision board of the type of relationship you want in your life. Odds are, you being a side chick doesn’t fit into that vision.