Meeting your boyfriend’s friends can be just as nerve-wracking as meeting his parents sometimes even more so! You know how important they are to him and their opinion of you will matter to him, so making a good impression is crucial. But what if they’ve never really warmed to you or, no matter how hard you try, you are always just “that one chick” to them? Or, even worse, what if they are total idiots?
Whether they are loud, annoying, or are just not the type of people you would usually choose to spend time with, these guys are a part of your boyfriend’s life and you will have to accept them if you want your relationship to run smoothly. After all, most men say that excluding their friends is a major relationship deal breaker.
# Don’t exclude yourself completely
As much as you might want to, you can’t completely opt out of your boyfriend’s social life. If you are in a relationship with someone, you have to accept that their friends and family are part of the package, and that you are obligated to spend some time with them.
That being said, you don’t have to socialize with your guy’s friends every single time he suggests it; if you would rather do something else, be honest, and let him know in a respectful manner.
# Don’t force your boyfriend to make a tough decisionEven if you truly despise your partner’s friends, issuing a “them or me” ultimatum is the worst way to deal with the problem. Sure, you may get your way in the short term, but it will probably lead to resentment and will ultimately have a negative impact on your relationship. Ask yourself: how would you feel if he asked the same of you? As long as his friends haven’t done anything to you personally, your personal opinion of them doesn’t matter.
# Your boyfriend is still the same guy you fell forYou may be concerned that your boyfriend’s friends are complete and utter jerks, and might let your opinion of them affect the way you view your boyfriend. After all, people say that you are the company that you keep. In truth, this is often not the case. Your own friends aren’t all carbon copies of you—some might even be your complete opposite! Remember, you started dating your boyfriend for a reason and, luckily, it’s him you are with—not one of his friends!
# Acknowledge the importance of giving him some spaceA surefire way to put off your boyfriend and his friends is by appearing clingy and needy. Don’t pester him constantly by text, whine every time he wants to see his friends, or be overly possessive. The last thing your boyfriend wants is for his friends to think he’s “under the thumb.” Give him space to breathe and allow him to have some time to see his friends.
# Initiate a social gathering
If you’re not clicking with your boyfriend’s friends, then a bonding session may be the ideal solution. They might be nicer and easier to get along with than you think! As long as it’s not a romantic date, invite his friends along when you go to the cinema next time or go on a casual outing. You will also take some pressure off your boyfriend; now he won’t have to decide who to hang out with!
# Conversation is the key
The best way to get your partner’s friends on your side is to talk to them and get to know them. If you make an effort, they might not be as bad as you originally thought. Be outgoing, yet laid back. Keep the conversation light and try to pick up on common interests. Listen to your boyfriend when he talks about them, then use the information to ask them questions and engage them in conversation.
If you are really struggling to find common ground, remember that you are both fond of the same guy! Ask how long they’ve known each other and how they met, and you’re sure to get the conversation rolling.
# Don’t treat the girls any differentlyYour boyfriend’s female friends are going to be harder to accept. You’ll naturally feel jealous and feel as though you need to keep a close eye on their relationship. Try not to jump to conclusions or despise them automatically. As with any of your boyfriend’s mates, get to know them before passing judgment. You might be surprised by how quickly a friendly conversation will put your mind at rest, but be sure not to come across as fake or immediately try to become their BFF.