7 Ways How To Stop Being The Possessive Friend

If you’ve been told you’re a possessive friend, well, that’s not a compliment. A window has opened. Now you have the chance to learn to be a better friend.

A couple of days ago, your friend sat you down and told you that you’re a possessive friend. Ouch. That stung. But don’t take this as a bad thing. Your friend just saved you from not only losing a friend but from losing yourself.

Now, you have the chance to recognize your actions and change yourself for the better. Of course, you probably told your friend that you’d stop being possessive. But how will you do that? You probably didn’t even know you were being possessive.

# It’s time to do some self-reflection

If you’re ready, there are two things that could have happened. First, you were told you’re possessive by your friend or someone else.

Alternatively, you’re starting to realize your behavior isn’t good. Either way, you’re in a position where you should reflect on yourself and your behavior. So, sit down and take a hard look in the mirror.

# You don’t own your friend

This is the important thing to remember: you don’t own your friend. It’s normal to have this feeling when you’re close to someone, but you need to shake that mentality off. At the end of the day, you are free people who decided to be friends, and it wasn’t because you owned your friend. No one owns anyone. So your change needs to start from here.

# Get to know each other’s friends

If you’re struggling with jealousy, a good way to remove it from the relationship is by getting to know each other’s friends.

When you know who your friend is spending time with, you’ll feel less anxiety. Plus, you may actually become friends with your friend’s friends too. And it’s a win-win for everyone.

# Learn to trust your friend

One part of possessiveness is the inability to trust your friend. If you trust them, you wouldn’t feel the need to possess and try to control them. Possessiveness is usually a reflection of your own internal insecurities. So, sit down with yourself, look at your insecurities, and how they reflect on your friendship. When do you become the possessive friend?

# Live your own life

If you’re someone who spent all your time with this friend, it’s time you create some healthy distance. This doesn’t mean you should cut them from your life; instead, spend some time with your other friends, take up a hobby, and become your own person. Because, at the end of the day, you are two separate people with two different lives.

# Practice self-awareness

This isn’t going to be an overnight process. Rather, it’ll take a lot of time for you to work on yourself and grow out of being a possessive friend. And there’s nothing wrong with this; change takes time. Try to practice self-awareness and see when you’re starting to become possessive. Write these moments down and see if you can find a pattern.

# Don’t try to change them

This happens in every possessive relationship; one person is trying hard to change the other. But here’s the thing: you can’t change your friend. Plus, why would you want to change your friend? You’re friends with them because of who they are now, not who you want them to be.