Most of us spend a large portion of our life thinking how to express our feeling the right way. Truely, even I am tired. Many time we stumble over our words, speak wring things and people get upset with us. Sometimes we don't have bad intentions, but we fail to express without upsetting the people around us.
Choosing to lock away your feelings is not the solution to being bad at expressing your feelings. Learn how to express your feelings because you need to know this throughout your life. And you need to get good at it.
# First, you need to relaxSeriously, let it go. Let it all go. I don’t even know what “it” is for you, but you certainly do. Whatever holds you back from expressing how you really feel, kiss it goodbye: FOREVER.
# How ARE you feeling? Before you can tell anybody what you feel, you must figure it out yourself, friends. Did somebody hurt your feelings? You need to lay it all out for yourself. Be brutally honest—you are the only one who is listening right now.
# Dig deeper
Okay, so it’s great that you figured out that Jimmy broke your heart and it upset you. I’m gonna need you to dig a little bit deeper than that. I understand that he did something hurtful to you, but you need to figure out why his actions affected you the way that they did.
We all have our reasons for feeling the way that we do. We cannot articulate our thoughts and feelings until we fully understand them ourselves.
# Is it worth it?
Sometimes people don’t want to hear how we feel, and, yes—it does suck. But that’s life, and we need to accept that. You can gather your thoughts until you understand them perfectly, but if they fall on deaf ears, then what’s the point? You need to really decide what is worth your energy, because it is so very precious. Sometimes it is best to just understand how you are feeling for yourself and end the journey there.
# Come up with three solutions to your problem
I used to work as a Resident Advisor (RA) in a college residence. One of the techniques we learned was to encourage our students to come forward with their issues, but only if they had three solutions to their problem.
# Take your timeThink about what you are about to do. If your boss sent you a super passive aggressive email, and you’ve had it with their negative attitude towards you, STOP. Don’t reply right away. Sit on your feelings.
I have a 24-hour rule, unless it is something that requires an immediate reply. If I’m angry, I wait 24-hours to reply. Chances are, by the time I return to the issue, I will be a lot less angry and able to respond in a calm manner. This diffuses situations that don’t need to exist and take up our energy for no reason.
# Do it in personI know in today’s age, it is easy to send a text or an email when you express your feelings about something. However, it is important that you don’t do this. It’s easy—and that’s the problem. Expressing your feelings isn’t meant to be easy. When talking in person, you develop a bond and a connection with the other person, and it becomes increasingly easier to work out any issues that you might have. Don’t back down from your feelings though.