Toxic behavior is never fun to be around. When you’re toxic, you often drive people away, and if you don’t, you’re likely manipulating them to stick around. Neither of those equates to solid and healthy relationships of any type. It might be time to learn how to stop being toxic.
If you want to start leading a life that revolves around authenticity and genuine friendships and relationships, you need to cut out the toxic behavior and start taking accountability for your past and your actions.
# Replace negative thoughts with positive onesNo, you don’t have to keep smiling and never have negative thoughts. We all have bad days, and that’s normal. But, in happy or neutral circumstances, when your mind immediately goes somewhere negative, replace that thought.
If a friend announces their engagement, don’t think about how you’re not engaged or that she’s rubbing it in your face, be happy for her, and look forward to enjoying the wedding.
If someone is venting to you, don’t roll your eyes and think about how you’ve been through worse. Think about how your friend’s feelings are just as valid as yours, and you can listen to them as they did for you.
# Be actively gratefulSomething toxic people grab hold of is that their life isn’t good enough. You probably focus on anything negative in your life instead of the positive.
Take a few minutes every day to be actively grateful for things in your life. This could be anything from your health to your pet, partner, or the roof over your head. If you want to know how to stop being toxic, know that acknowledging the good things in your life lets you focus on them so you can reestablish a base in reality.
# Do things for yourselfTake time for yourself. Don’t do things for how others will see you or how it might seem. Do things you truly enjoy. This will remind you that you can be fulfilled by things you enjoy.
Take an art class. Go for a run. Do things you really enjoy regardless of what others think. Enjoying time by yourself and for yourself makes you happier overall, which helps reduce toxic behavior.
# Build your humility
Something you probably have difficulty with if you’re toxic is laughing at yourself. You easily get embarrassed and feel ashamed of mistakes or anything you’ve done wrong.
Learn how to laugh at yourself. Take time to realize no one is perfect, and you don’t need to be. Not being able to laugh at yourself makes you seem like you think you’re better than the people around you. It makes you less relatable.
# Avoid gossipFalling into the trap of gossip can bring you right back into toxic behavior. It can be addicting. If you want to learn how to stop being toxic, remove yourself from those situations where you feel weak, like you may fall back into old habits.
Once you feel strong enough to disengage from those toxic conversations, you can even say, “Can we change the subject? I don’t feel comfortable talking about someone when they’re not here.”
That shows not only true strength and change but also the desire to help those around you lessen their toxic habits too.
# Do things for others
Do things solely for others. Don’t think about what you’ll get out of it. Be kind to a stranger. Reach out to a friend just to chat and see how they’re doing.
Being kind just to be kind bounces back to you. Knowing you made someone’s day or put a smile on their face increases your own good feelings and makes you a more positive person in return.
# Accept your faults
This is a huge issue when you’re a toxic person. Deep down that toxicity could be due to low self-esteem, but you’ve buried that so deep down you cannot accept your own imperfections.
Take time to acknowledge you’re not perfect, and that is okay. You’ve already got this far in this feature. You’ve accepted your toxic behavior and are learning how to fix that, so you’re already on your way.