7 Ways To Get Over From Betrayal In Relationship

When someone you care for breaks the bonds of trust you feel betrayed. It cuts deep into your heart and the damage that is done can sometimes be overwhelming. Whether it is a friend, a family member, a partner or even someone entirely different, a betrayal leaves you with a lot of questions.

What do you do? How can you get past this betrayal and heal? Will you ever be able to forgive them for what they have done?

If you are feeling betrayed, you need not lose heart. There is a silver lining to this as well and you can take the following steps to get over the hurt caused:

* Name the feeling

Betrayal is an act. The emotions that result from it are what we mean when we say we’re “feeling betrayed.” The first step I recovering from this act is to acknowledge the way that this betrayal makes you feel. It can be hurt, anger, disgust, sadness, fear, insecurity, shame, loneliness and even confusion. Being specific about how you are feeling is crucial in order to be able to do something about the way you are feeling.

* Resist retaliating

If everyone believed in an eye for an eye, half the world will be blind. With some betrayals, you may experience an overwhelming urge to retaliate.Don’t!You may be feeling angry about what happened and you may feel like they deserve punishment, but rarely is this ever a productive endeavour. Your time is precious and it should be invested in nurturing and healing yourself rather than throwing it away on planning and plotting a revenge.

* Talk to a third party

In these situations, it can help to talk through the incident and the feelings you have about it with a trusted confidant. Expressing your emotions and speaking out about what is going on inside your head and heart right now can be cathartic. It is advisable to approach the people who are going to be fair, if not entirely neutral. Only a neutral third party will be able to give you their honest advice and constructive feedback about your plan for dealing with the situation.

* Take time away

When you’ve been betrayed by someone, the best short term solution is to avoid them as much as physically – and technologically – possible. Remember that you need time to deal with the turmoil of emotions within you and staying in touch with the one who has hurt you will only increase the anguish. You must take some time away and break ties with that person.Now, if they try to contact you (and they probably will), you can just tell them in a calm manner that you need some time and space to deal with what they’ve done. Ask them to respect your wishes and leave you be.

* Confront the person who betrayed you

This is a big step and one that requires some guts and determination to take. It is advisable to do this only when you feel that you are a ready and more importantly, when you think it is worth speaking to the person who betrayed you. Communicate how their actions made you feel then, and how you still feel about it now.Be specific about the impact this person’s actions had on you. It is crucial that you structure what you have to say in a way that focuses on you and not them. This way, you can avoid putting them on the defensive and keep the conversation amicable.

* Cut ties when required

Whether you choose to forgive a betrayal and maintain your relationship with someone depends on the severity of the offence, how much you value the said relationship and even the way the betrayal went down. Whether it is the first time they have done this to you or someone else, it is still easier to consider giving a second chance. However, if you have experienced it before with the same person, it is only wise to strongly consider whether keeping that person in your life is worth it.

* Moving on

When you feel betrayed, it’s not something that can be dealt with too quickly. You need time to process everything that has happened and this will vary depending on the specific events. Nonetheless, you should bear in mind that you have other responsibilities to attend to and your life to get on with.At first, you just have to do your best to cope with the storm of emotions inside while maintaining some semblance of a normal life. In time, you’ll find you overcome the initial shock and start to heal your emotional wounds. As you recover from the ordeal, you’ll think less and less about it, and the emotions surrounding it will be fade.