8 Basic Boundaries You Should Set For Yourself in a New Relationship

Setting boundaries in your relationship doesn't involve creating a strict rulebook to hand over to your partner as a reference. Instead, it entails establishing a personal comfort zone through open and honest communication about your needs and limits within the relationship.

For example, you may have a firm stance against getting married, driven by your own valid reasons. This represents a boundary for you. However, it would be detrimental if you simply imposed this on your partner, presenting them with an ultimatum of take it or leave it.

Conversely, a healthy approach would involve sitting down with your partner and having a discussion about it. You can explain your reasons behind your stance while also exploring alternative options that both of you are content with or willing to consider in the future.

As mentioned previously, individual boundaries vary as they are unique to each person. Nevertheless, there are certain fundamental boundaries that are commonly established by individuals seeking healthy relationships.

To ensure you enter into a relationship with someone who respects you, there are essential boundaries to consider. Here are a few key personal boundaries to incorporate into your new relationship:

# They are single and don’t have a partner or are married

Unless an individual has officially ended their relationship or is in the midst of a divorce, there is no legitimate reason for you to be involved with them. If they claim they will leave their partner for you, it is advisable to remain skeptical until there is concrete evidence of such intentions.

In the meantime, it is crucial not to waste your time in a situation where you are merely serving as a temporary distraction or emotional support for someone dealing with issues in their existing relationship. You should not become an emotional cushion for them; they can seek professional help by consulting a therapist or appearing on a talk show.

# No means no

Regardless of their gender, physical characteristics, personal preferences, or interests, it is essential that someone respects your boundaries and acknowledges the meaning of no.

If an individual fails to understand or deliberately disregards your refusal, it is a clear indication that they do not hold genuine respect for you. It is crucial to be cautious about placing trust in such individuals and to be aware of potential backstabbers.

Engaging with someone who lacks respect for your boundaries may initially seem thrilling, like dating a bad boy or a cool girl. However, in the long term, the excitement fades, and the consequences outweigh the temporary allure. Popular culture, such as chick flicks, often portrays the outcome of such relationships as ending in solitude and unhappiness.

# Someone who can’t apologize

Even though you might underestimate its significance, being in a relationship with someone who either refuses or lacks the ability to apologize is a major red flag. This aspect holds significant importance within the realm of dating boundaries.

The ability to acknowledge one's own actions and take responsibility for mistakes is crucial. What would happen if you find yourselves in a disagreement where they clearly messed up but refuse to offer an apology?

It would result in an exhausting and never-ending cycle where you are constantly shouldering the blame for everything. If you are with someone who never apologizes, it will eventually lead to a situation where you may choose to remain silent. Every argument will inevitably circle back to you, impacting you emotionally and mentally. It drains the life out of you, and the situation becomes highly distressing.

# Manchild or womanchild

It's common for all of us to carry some unresolved emotional issues related to our parents. Perhaps your father didn't catch you when you fell off your bike in second grade, or your mother was constantly critical. We all have our own experiences that shape us.

The important thing to remember is that you shouldn't assume the role of someone's parent in a romantic relationship. If your partner has unresolved issues, it is their responsibility to address and resolve them. While you can offer support, it is crucial to recognize that their personal baggage is their own to handle.

There is a distinction between being in an equal partnership and being relied upon as someone's sole source of support for all their needs. This is something you should actively avoid and not allow to happen.

# Someone who is unkind to others

If you want insights into your partner's character, observe how they behave in their interactions with their parents. Do they display unjustifiable rudeness or engage in verbal and emotional abuse towards their mom and dad?

The way they treat their parents is indicative of how they may treat you. If they communicate with their parents using unkind and harsh words, even towards the individuals who brought them into this world, what makes you believe they will treat you any differently?

We should not tolerate or accept such behavior.

# Don’t chase anyone

It's important to understand that the ego can be fragile. However, it's crucial to recognize when someone is simply not as invested in you as you are in them. If you're casually dating someone and you notice a lack of genuine reciprocation, it's best not to push for a connection that isn't there. It's better to end the relationship.

There's a possibility that they might eventually realize they missed out on a remarkable person, but there's also a chance they won't.

If you're demonstrating genuine interest, yet they are treating you as if you're chasing after them like an obedient dog, it's clear that you're being manipulated and made a fool of.

# Liars

The phrase pants on fire takes on a literal meaning when it comes to the pain caused by being infected with Chlamydia as a result of your partner lying about cheating on you. This situation demonstrates how lies can harm you both emotionally and physically.

Having someone who consistently lies to you is not something you need or deserve. It's not worth your time to constantly decode messages or investigate their phone in search of hints and clues about what is truly happening. Relationships should not resemble a sorrowful treasure hunt; they should be built on trust and honesty.

# Name-calling

Are we still stuck in our childhood days? If your partner resorts to name-calling or belittling remarks, it's time for them to return to the playground. Let's be honest, you don't deserve that kind of treatment.

Since you're in a dating relationship, it may be necessary to communicate to your partner that certain names or hurtful comments are unacceptable and inappropriate. However, if they choose to disregard your concerns, it's clear that they need to be removed from your life.

Why is respect so crucial? Where's Aretha Franklin when we need her to remind us about the importance of R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

# Pushing sexual desires on you

Listen, it's crucial to remember that you have the right to establish your own boundaries and preferences when it comes to sexual activities. If you're not interested in having a threesome with your partner and someone else, or if you're not comfortable experimenting with anal beads, you should feel empowered to say no.

People have varying levels of sexual experience and openness, and that's perfectly acceptable. However, it's essential to have open and honest conversations about your desires and limits in the bedroom.

By doing so, you can ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page and avoid situations where they surprise you with unexpected props or activities that go beyond your comfort zone. It's important to distinguish between fantasies portrayed in movies like Fifty Shades of Grey and your personal preferences and boundaries in real life.