Love is blind, they say. When we’re in a new relationship, we tend to overlook some big *neon* signs and red flags in a relationship that really help you see who your partner is. And if they are a good fit for you.
After a relationship ends, we always think about the red flags in a relationship we saw but completely ignored. Did he hate your friends? Never met your parents? Did she manipulate you to get her way?
It’s always easy to look back and see the big lightbulb flashing over your head, where you go “oh, I knew this person was bad all along!” But somehow, we don’t see it when it matters. It’s always best to spot the red flags nice and early to avoid the painful process of going through a breakup. If you’re in a new relationship and are having some doubts about it, then it’s probably for a good reason.
But what are the red flags? Good question. We have you covered. These relationships red flags are the ones you need to look for and not ignore. Don’t be love-blind!
# You’re their first real relationshipUnless you’re 18, this is not a good thing. Especially if all their relationships in the past were friends-with-benefits or one-night-stands. Short-term casual relationships are fine if that’s something both of you want.
But if you’re dating someone who’s never defined any of their previous relationships, you’re either dating someone who’s too immature or someone who doesn’t want to commit to anyone.
# A possessive partnerIt’s cute when they text you asking you where you are. And then after the fifth text, it starts getting a little too much. If they’re constantly asking what you’re doing, who you’re with—this is a relationship red flag, especially early into the relationship.
This behavior only becomes worse, and may result in them prohibiting you from seeing certain friends and family members.
# They don’t want to compromiseIn a healthy relationship, you’re going to have to compromise. But your partner refuses to meet you in the middle. Instead, they stand their ground and refuse to find a happy medium for the both of you.
What happens is you end up doing everything they want to do without getting your needs met.
# They never initiate datesYou’re always the one who plans everything. Whether it’s a movie night at home or dinner out, you always need to make the first move. Making plans isn’t easy, it takes effort.
If you’re the only one putting in the effort, this is a problem. Your relationship is one-sided.
# They don’t respect your boundaries
Everyone has their own personal boundaries, and the people who know us respect those boundaries. But if this person oversteps the line and doesn’t care when you express your concern, they simply aren’t interested in making you feel safe and secure.
Or they may be trying to push you to see if you’ll push back. If someone does something knowing it’ll hurt you or offend you, it clearly shows they’re trying to play a game of who gives in first. And you should never be with someone who shows this kind of a red flag in a relationship.
# You don’t meet their friendsIs your significant other going out with their friends without inviting you? Of course, we all need time to hang out with our own friends. But if you’ve never met them within a month or two of dating, that’s a red flag.
If they like you and are sincere about dating you, they should be introducing you to their friends and showing you off.
There are a couple of reasons for this behavior. They either do not want to show themselves as in a relationship or they feel that their friends and family will not approve of you. Either way, you deserve better treatment than that.
# They don’t want to label the relationshipYou have been dating for a few months, and you feel the relationship can be something more than just “hanging out.”
But
every time you bring up the conversation to define the relationship or
ask “what are we,” your partner deflects the conversation or doesn’t
want to label the relationship as anything. Not a good sign. They’re not
going to commit to you.
# Someone is keeping secretsIn
healthy relationships, you need to be open and honest with your
partner. No one should be keeping secrets and lying to one another.
So,
if you’re finding out they’re hiding important things from you or
straight up lying to your face, that’s a solid red flag in a
relationship.