Maybe you’ve had an affair, or you know your partner is having one. You want to understand what’s actually going on. Well, a good place to start is by knowing the types of affairs that can occur.
Once you know the different types, you can narrow it down and pinpoint exactly what led to this type of affair. But first, let’s take a minute to understand why people have affairs in the first place.
When you can understand the reasons that lead to people having an affair, you’ll be able to understand the different types of affairs easily as well.
# AngerIf someone is angry at their partner, this makes them vulnerable to cheating. The most temptation occurs when the anger is long-term. If one partner has a constant feeling of resentment toward the other partner, then their attention may turn elsewhere.
In this category, you also might find revenge sex. Maybe one person cheated on the other. The one who was cheated on would not normally cheat, but since they are angry, they want to get revenge – so they do the same.
# Low self-esteem
Let’s face it – when other people find us attractive, it boosts our ego. And many people have low self-esteem, so when someone other than their partner shows them attention, it helps them feel better about themselves.
Cheating because you don’t feel good about yourself is not a good thing. It’s not a quick fix for your self-confidence, even though it may feel like it at the moment.
But eventually, that feeling goes away, and you are left to deal with the fall-out of your affair.
# Commitment issuesJust because someone is in a relationship or married doesn’t mean that they are really committed to their partner in their heart.
Some people get pressured into getting married by their spouse or their family. Other people are just afraid to be alone.
So, if someone doesn’t really feel like they are committed – or that they have one foot out the door – then cheating is very tempting for them.
It is very easy to just “forget” about your commitment because you are getting immediate gratification from an affair.
# Lack of love
Maybe a couple started out being in love, but the feeling has disappeared over time. It’s disappointing when that happens because you think you will be with your partner for a long time. And when that doesn’t happen, you feel uneasy.
So, if a person doesn’t love their partner anymore, they might purposely or accidentally find someone that they do love. And if that other person gives the love back to them, this could be a reason for a long-term affair.
# Need for variety
A lot of people don’t want to admit this, but humans aren’t naturally monogamous. Just look at the animal kingdom – almost none of them stay with one sexual partner, with the exception of penguins *for some strange reason.*
Humans are animals, so they want to spread their DNA, especially males.
From a survival point of view, men want as many genetic descendants as possible. Now, this is really just how the brain is wired. Obviously, society frowns upon this, but it is still a part of the primitive brain that we still have.
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NeglectWhen people are together for a long time, they tend to take each other for granted. No longer do they have date nights, make love, or do anything nice for each other.
In fact, their appreciation for each other sometimes completely goes away… sadly.
Sometimes, the neglect is one-sided. In other words, only one partner is being neglectful, either emotionally or sexually. This would cause the other one to become resentful and want to find someone else who does appreciate them.
# Sexual addictions
Just like alcohol, drug, or any other addiction, some people have a sexual addiction. This kind of addiction is very broad on the spectrum. In other words, it could be watching porn 24/7 or just not being able to resist themselves if an attractive person comes their way.
This is a very real problem that requires professional intervention. It is not only dangerous, but it is also very mentally and emotionally unhealthy for both partners.
# SituationalThis is a very immature reason – or excuse – to have an affair. When confronted with the cheating by their partner, they will say things like, “I was just really drunk – it doesn’t mean anything!” Or “I don’t know why I did it – I was in the moment and it just happened.”