8 Reasons Why It Hurts To Be The Other Woman

The world has always been fascinated with the concept of adultery and cheating. While considered taboo in most cultures, one cannot help but admit that it has become a prevalent part of society. This is where the so-called “other woman” comes into play. Many cannot help but be drawn to the fascination surrounding her.

Society is quick to label these women with such derogatory terms, such as “whore” , “slut” or even “home wrecker.” She becomes a modern day Hester Prynne, exposed to shame and forced to wear the infamous “A” as a blatant reminder of her involvement in adultery.

Do these women really deserve the stigma that society has so harshly dealt them with? Some would say that they truly deserve it. However, let’s take a moment to reflect on what it’s like to be in the other woman’s shoes.

# You are the dirty little secret

When one becomes the other woman in a relationship, she will always be kept under wraps. Whether it is a boyfriend cheating on his girlfriend, or a husband cheating on his wife, you will be kept hidden and not spoken of. This means going on secret rendezvous, stolen text messages, and certain “conditions” that you have to follow.

This means no going out on dates in public, unless you want to be fuel for gossip. As the one being cheated with, your fellow thief will make sure that you will be far from prying eyes. You will treat each other as strangers when you are in public, but within closed doors, you own each other. In the long run, something like this would take its toll on anyone.

# You have to deal with loneliness

Having a secret relationship can get quite lonely because there will always be something missing. Sure, there will be many moments of physical intimacy, but it is never enough to cover the pang of loneliness, of something deeper than just the physical moments that you both share.

# You have to deal with the stigma of society

When it comes to illicit affairs, society will always rear its ugly head. Women who have made the mistake of being the other woman have to endure the harsh names given to them, like “slut,” or “home wrecker.”

It doesn’t end with the name-calling or slut shaming because she will also have to deal with the condescending stares as well as muffled whispers whenever she enters a room. But at the end of the day, she’ll still try to brush it aside in order to keep her relationship with the taken man.

# You have to play the waiting game

This means you have to wait for your lover’s go signal to do anything, such as the next time the two of you will get to see each other. The waiting game is such a difficult and, oftentimes, frustrating game to play because you are starved for whatever crumbs of affection your lover has to throw at you.

Once your tryst is over, you’re left pining and waiting for the next call, which can take days or even weeks to arrive.

# You become the meantime girl

A woman who becomes the “meantime girl” finds herself to be living in emotional hell. You will be filling the void of whatever your lover is not getting from his marriage or legitimate relationship.

What hurts about being the “meantime girl” is that you will only ever be an option, and a second one at that. There will be no talks of a future together, you find yourself to be living in the moment. You find yourself clinging on to whatever happiness you can get from your time together, when you know in your heart that these moments are just fleeting.

# You live on stolen moments and borrowed time

One of the underlying conditions in being the other woman in a relationship is that you have to work around a fixed schedule. Remember that the object of your desire has someone to go home to everyday. He has obligations to fulfill.

Naturally, you cannot see each other every day, so you have to work around a certain agreed schedule, usually comprising of a few hours. At most times, your lover cannot even spend the night, lest he rouse the suspicion of his legitimate partner. With this in mind, you have to make do with whatever little time you have together, and this could cut deep, especially if you have fallen in love.

# You are guilt-ridden

Many women who have entered these kinds of relationships have often complained of sleepless nights. They find themselves wracked with guilt, especially in those moments when they find themselves to be alone without their lover to comfort them. They are guilty on being the object of sin against another woman. Oftentimes, these women feel that this guilt is a one-way street.

# You are not a priority

The first few weeks of a relationship are always filled with bliss. One gets the emotional highs of being in love and constantly wanting to be with the person that you love. However, the “honeymoon stage” will soon end and you will soon see reality for what it is.

You will see how the entire situation is affecting you as a person. You will know that he will not be there to comfort you during the days when you are feeling down. You cannot spend the holidays with him, and you cannot help but feel saddened by the fact that he is spending the holidays with his legitimate loved one. You cannot hold his hand when you feel like you need it the most, or put your arms around him whenever you feel lonely. In short, you can never experience life with him because he clearly has established that with someone else.