8 Rules That Make You an Excellent Person To Be Around

Being a good friend sounds simple enough, but sometimes it’s not. If you want to know how to be a good friend, there are basic rules to being a BFF.

Relationships make the world go ‘round, but that doesn’t mean that they make life here a carnival ride. Some relationships lift us up, challenge us, and make us better people, and then there are others that do the exact opposite. Not everyone knows how to be a good friend, but unfortunately, most of us think we do.

Friendships are like pieces of a puzzle. Some fit, and some don’t. If you have a friend who is going through a hard time, or you are going through people like they are disposable, then you may be looking for some guidance about how to be a good friend. It isn’t about being someone’s yes man or pin cushion. Nor is it about controlling other people.

# You can go to a pity party

If you are in a friendship and the other person has recently had a traumatic incident, it can become difficult to allow them to wallow. Learning to read the signs when someone just needs a hug or some sympathy is the best way how to be a good friend.

There will be some people who respond to a kick in the ass, while others need a little coddling to bring them back to life.

# You know when to make vodka lemonade out of lemons

Some people will sit and stew for years without ever just moving on. There are times when, instead of attending their pity party, you need to show up with vodka lemonade to turn those lemons around. Sometimes someone needs to be presented the other side and given a little push to move on and see that their world isn’t disintegrating.

# Have heavy shoulders

It is easy when you are friends with someone to get your feelings hurt. There are going to be times when your friend is having a hard time or going through drama. Hard times don’t always bring out the best in people, and sometimes they need somewhere to deposit their anger.

The first likely candidate is someone they love and feel safe around. Although difficult, sometimes you have to allow someone to vent, even if it feels personal, and not take it personally. Having heavy shoulders means being their sounding board and sometimes their dumping grounds.

# Be honest

If you don’t agree with their side of the story, and you see them holding onto the belief that they were in the right isn’t exactly helping, then you have an obligation to be honest and tell them. Sure, it isn’t a fun thing to tell your friend that you saw their boyfriend with another girl.

But, if you want to know how to be a good friend, you need to be honest even when it hurts. Just make sure you stick around to pick up the pieces after you tear it all apart.

# Don’t say what they want to hear, but what they need to hear

Sometimes we turn to the friends who tell us the best “story.” That means we don’t want to hear what we should; we want to hear what we want to hear. It always feels better to be the good guy, but it isn’t always best for our friends or friendships.

Telling someone what they need to hear may be a harder road to go down, but if you want to know how to be a good friend, you have to tell them what they might not want to hear instead of what will make them feel good.

# Only play devil’s advocate when it is warranted

We all have those friends who are very good at putting things into perspective and showing us the opposite side of a story. There are times when that is a good thing and then others when that sounds like they are negating our hurt or trying to convince us that what we feel isn’t real or true.

Playing devil’s advocate sometimes can feel non-supportive. At times, it may be better to just hold your tongue, nod your head, and wait for a later date to tell them the other side.

# Be there not only for the parties, but when the music dies

Everyone is a good friend when times are awesome, and life is a party. The real friends are the ones who stick around even after the music dies.

It is really simple to be someone who wants to be there during the fun times, but also hangs out to clean up after the fact. That takes more care and concern. Be the friend who is still there long after people have vacated.

# Don’t always give in

Knowing how to be a good friend isn’t always about giving in and putting your own needs and wants aside. Being the martyr doesn’t make you a good friend.

Most people who play the martyr are doing so because they are trying to gain acceptance by being “nice,” not by being their genuine self. You don’t have to be someone’s pin cushion to be a good friend. In fact, that isn’t a real friendship at all.