8 Signs That Tell You are Dating an Insecure Man

Insecurity is the one trait that can single-handedly impede any scope of a healthy relationship between two people. You may love each other with all your heart, but since insecure behavior eats away at the element of trust, which is a cornerstone of a healthy partnership, you’re always on shaky ground. And the relationship is characterized by unrealistic expectations, and excessive neediness, which results in fights, bickering, reassurances, and the cycle continues to feed itself.

Intense and draining is what the experience of dating an insecure man can be best described as. If this description hits too close home for you, you certainly have reason to say, “My boyfriend is insecure”. But to be doubly sure, it helps to understand the signs you are dating an insecure man so that you’re absolutely sure about what you’re dealing with. Get ready because this is quite a list.

An insecure man is a man who lacks confidence and self-esteem in himself. He may feel uncertain about his abilities, appearance, or worth and may constantly seek validation or approval from others to feel better about himself. This can lead to behaviors such as jealousy, possessiveness, neediness, and controlling behavior in relationships. It can also manifest as a fear of failure, social anxiety, or avoidance of challenging situations.

It's important to note that everyone experiences insecurity to some degree, but when it becomes chronic and interferes with daily life, it can be problematic. Insecurity can stem from a variety of factors, such as past experiences, upbringing, or mental health issues.

If you or someone you know is struggling with insecurity, it's important to seek support from a mental health professional or trusted friend/family member. Therapy, self-help resources, and building self-compassion and self-confidence can be helpful in overcoming insecurity.

# He spends all his time with you

He hardly has any friends or interesting hobbies to keep him engaged. His world only revolves around you, almost as if he doesn’t know how to function individually. “I am tired of my boyfriend being insecure and clingy.” If your partner’s presence evokes this emotion in you because he just doesn’t have a life outside of the relationship, you can say with a fair degree of certainty that his insecurities get the better of him more often than not.

# He controls every aspect of your life

One of the classic signs of a controlling insecure boyfriend is that instead of giving you space and respecting your opinions, he’d want to meddle with every aspect of your life – from how you dress to who you spend your time with. It can be suffocating dealing with an insecure partner and you may feel like you’re losing yourself in order to keep him happy and your relationship afloat.

# He keeps telling you to be as simple as possible

An insecure and jealous boyfriend will ask you to dress down because he either thinks you’re way out of his league or he does not want other guys ogling at you. If he cannot handle his partner getting a little attention or even a compliment from someone, he sure has a lot of emotional baggage to deal with. That emotional baggage is spilling onto your relationship in the form of his insecurity.

# Feelings of jealousy are second nature to him

Insecure men and jealousy go hand in hand. He is jealous not only of your male friends but also of any man who tries to come close to you. He doesn’t like it either if you have close relationships with your girlfriends. He gets rather angry if you buy them gifts or go out of your way to do things for them. This is a clear red flag in any relationship and can become a breeding ground for a whole host of other problems such as lying, trust issues, and incessant fighting.

# He puts you down

Dating someone with insecurities looks a little like this: An insecure boyfriend will belittle you and fail to empower you. He will constantly have a problem with everything you do. Instead of being your biggest support system, he will put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. A relationship with an insecure man can seriously dent your self-esteem and confidence in the long run.

# He’s always keeping a check on you

He will keep tabs on you and will want to know where you are, what you are doing, and who you are hanging out with ALL THE TIME. So be prepared to have him start texting you or calling you endlessly when you go out with your friends. It’s really no surprise that you struggle with the “tired of my boyfriend being insecure” feeling more often than not. Catering to his emotional needs can feel like a full-time job. This lop-sided, unhealthy dynamic has the makings of a bad relationship written all over it.

# He never accepts his mistakes

If he does something wrong, you will notice that he will start blame-shifting, placing the entire responsibility on you or someone else. While confident men can gather the courage to admit when they are wrong and apologize for their actions, insecure men find it hard to say, “I’m sorry, I messed up” or “This was my fault”. Because their self-esteem is already battered, they have an overwhelming need to present an infallible exterior. Even if it is built on lies, half-truths, or pure gaslighting.

# He wants to hear praise, not criticism

He will revel in any compliments you pay him as his entire self-worth is dependent on external validation but criticism of any kind – no matter how constructive and well-intentioned – is off limits. Try telling him that needs to change his behavior or suggest that there are certain personality traits that he needs to work on, you’re most likely to be met with a cold shoulder and some stonewalling. It’s not easy to communicate with an insecure partner, especially when you’re trying to address the issues plaguing your relationship.