8 Signs That Your Partner is Having an Emotional Affair

An emotional affair occurs when two people, either of whom are in a committed relationship, develop a mutual emotional attraction. An emotional affair means that these feelings aren’t acted out physically, but are often acknowledged and fostered despite one or both parties being in a relationship already.

These types of affairs are tricky, because it’s hard to pin down whether something is really going on between your partner and someone else. Emotional affairs are seen as friendships that have evolved into something more but not enough to warrant alarm bells.

# They develop a sudden friendship with someone new

This is not a red flag, but it is an easy way to know who your partner might be having an emotional affair with. If your partner has met someone who you think is a possible candidate for a relationship, had your partner been single, then it’s okay to watch over them. Just remember not to suffocate your partner or start accusing them of something you’re not sure of.

# They prefer talking to that person about their feelings

This is your first red flag. If your partner is talking about personal things with someone else and refusing to talk about it with you, no matter what, it’s possible that they might be engaging in an emotional affair.

# They use that person’s opinion against you

Their decisions about your relationship are influenced by someone else’s point of view. You’ll find your partner comparing how this new person thinks to how you approach your relationship. They will express how highly they think of this person as opposed to your own faults and shortcomings.

# They go on dates

Hanging out is different from dating. When we say dates, we mean a get-together scheduled for the purpose of talking. People do not plan these types of things with people who are not their friends. If your partner is seeing someone for coffee or drinks “just to talk,” it might be a sign that your partner is engaging in said affair.

# They are comfortable with semi-intimate touching

Semi-intimate touching is sitting too close to each other, hugging too long when saying goodbye, or holding hands and not feeling weird about it. When you are in a relationship, these things should feel wrong with another person. Although it feels okay to your partner, it’s not okay for the person who’s left behind—namely, you.

# They look guilty, even when they believe they’re not

When you confront them about it, they don’t look or act innocent. They know they’re not doing anything wrong, but their gut and instincts are telling them otherwise. This will be reflected in the way they talk or act when confronted with the idea of an emotional affair.

# They look happier with their friend

If you get the chance to observe your partner with this person, try to compare it with how they treat you or your friends. If something doesn’t look or feel right, you need to talk to your partner about it. People in emotional affairs tend to look like they’re in love, even when they swear that they’re not.

# It doesn’t feel right to you

Trust your gut and your instincts. Don’t act rashly, but do take the time to think about how you feel and what you plan to do with it. A harsh confrontation will just push your partner away, so try to think of a plan that will allow you to express your feelings without insisting to your partner that you’re right. Give them a chance to explain and then you can decide what to do next.