Many relationships nowadays begin in the hookup phase—even though that’s kind of the opposite of how it’s supposed to work. You’re supposed to meet someone, go on dates with them, develop feelings, and then hit the sack.
But what I’m finding more recently is that many people meet, skip the whole dating part which I don’t understand, because if you’re a girl, it’s free food and head straight to the bedroom, after only a few drinks at a bar.
This makes it increasingly difficult to tell if the other person really likes you after the first few hookups. You may develop feelings for them, but do they now just see you as a hookup and nothing else? That seems to be the biggest problem in the dating world today.
# You only see them at nightOne of the biggest signs that you’re nothing more than their go-to sex buddy is that you only see them at night. Their days are full of everything else but you, and they only make an appearance after dinnertime. If that sounds like your current partner, then chances are you’re just a hookup.
# All your plans are last minuteIf they never make plans in advance, and are texting you at 9 PM or later to “watch a movie,” then you’re definitely not their first priority or their first option. This is a tell-tale sign that they’ve placed you in the “just sex” category.
# You never go outDates are not a possibility, and the two of you rarely do anything other than hang out in your apartment. If that’s your reality with the person you’re getting naked with on a regular basis, then that’s probably all you are to them. Someone who only wants sex and is already getting it is not going to go out of their way to take you on a nice romantic dinner—sorry.
# They never talk about their personal lifeIf you hardly know anything about them, their childhood, their family, or even what their hobbies are, then that’s a sign they may be trying to distance themselves so you don’t go looking for anything more than a hookup. Which is all that they want.
# You have never had the talkIf you’ve never talked about the extent of your relationship, or what exactly the two of you are, it might be because they’re avoiding the issue. And that’s probably because they don’t want to have to tell you that they’re only in it for the sex.
# They avoid texting/calling until later in the dayWhen you’re waking up to zero texts or calls from them and you still haven’t gotten a response to your “good morning” until after dinner time, you’ve probably come across someone only interested in a hookup. This way, they don’t have to pretend to be interested in your day and can just skip to the, “long day, can I come over?” text.
# You’ve never been to their place (if they have roommates)
If
you know your current friend with benefits has a roommate or two and
you’ve never been invited over—at all, ever—then you might want to take a
step back and realize why this might be. Most likely, it’s because they
don’t want to introduce you to their friends because they don’t foresee
you being around for the long haul.
# They never stay the whole night
No
sleepovers! That’s a surefire sign that they just want the sex. By
skipping the sleepover, they also skip the bedtime cuddles, pillow talk,
and cutesy breakfast in the morning—which is all relationship stuff
that they don’t want with you.