Love may sometimes be blind, but it shouldn’t stay blind for majority of the time. When you’re in love with someone, it’s easy to look past their faults and focus on their better points. At first, it’s easy to say that your partner will change for the better, that they will learn or that your love is stronger than a bunch of annoying pet peeves.
However, there will be a time when you’ll be tired of making excuses. You’ll find that your partner is no closer to learning from their mistakes and that it seems like there’s hardly any hope for change. You’ll eventually learn that love can’t cure huge character flaws.
Before you suddenly wake up and ask yourself “what have I been doing with this person?” you may have already spotted a couple of signs that this relationship may not be heading anywhere. You may have already seen the little signs telling you that this relationship isn’t one of your best ideas.
# Your partner is a bit of a userDo you sometimes notice that your partner often asks you for favors? Do you notice that they hang around you when you’ve got cash, but may sometimes be flaky when you’re a little broke? Do you often feel like your relationship mostly revolves around sex? These may be some of the telltale signs that your partner may be using you.
Helping your partner out is part of being in a relationship. But when you notice that your partner is only around when they need something, you may be the victim of a user. Sometimes, it truly feels nice to be needed. However, when you find out that you can hardly ask your partner for the littlest favor, then it’s a different story.
# Your partner tries to change you
Constructive criticism stated in a tactful way lets us know that there are things that we can do to try and improve ourselves. But when you notice that you’re just receiving criticism that’s not even constructive from your loved one, then this is a huge red flag. It’s an even bigger red flag if you notice that your partner is changing who you are as a person.
The desire to change should come from you, and these changes should be made because you believe that this will make you a better person. If you’ve changed as a result of your partner telling to become someone else, this could be a sign that your partner doesn’t accept you for who you are. They simply see you as a canvas for painting the type of person they want in a partner.
# DisrespectIt doesn’t even have to be you that your partner directly disrespects. Your partner may start to make snide comments about other people or even outright be rude to them. It’s easy to think that you’re special because out of all the people, it’s you that your partner chooses to be nice to.
However, when being disrespectful is ingrained into someone’s personality, it can be hard to escape. Who knows, you might suddenly do something to completely piss your partner off, and then you’d be the object of their spite. Do you really want to wait around for this ticking time bomb to explode?
# Drastic mood swingsOne minute, everything’s fine and dandy, and the next minute your partner explodes into a fit of rage that even the Richter scale would pick up on. When you’re in love, you may just brush it off and think that it’s one of those things that just happen.
But eventually you’ll realize that it can be tiring to be there when these dramatic swings happen. It’s like they’re taking you hostage on their emotional rollercoaster!
# Anger issuesPeople who have this genuinely need help. Since they’re not completely able to control their rage, they may come off as abusive. Sometimes, those who have anger issues have become very good at apologizing and trying to make amends. However, unless they actually seek help to be able to control their temper issues, you never know when they might have another episode that can turn violent.
# Too possessive and jealousOftentimes, these traits are grounded in insecurity. You may be flattered at first, because it seems like your partner never wants to lose you. However, in time, you may notice that their jealousy can become irrational. Simply talking to someone of the opposite sex can trigger a barrage of accusations that you’re being too flirtatious with another person.
When you’re dating someone who’s too jealous and possessive, it can sometimes feel like they have a chokehold on you all the time. And this is usually what leads to conflicts, and finally, a breakup.
# Too secretiveHave you ever asked your partner something, and their response is to shrug off the question? This is fine, especially if you’re in a new relationship and your partner would prefer to keep some things private.
However, if you’ve been together for a while, there should be some trust and honesty, especially if it’s about something that could potentially affect your relationship. You deserve to know the important things about the person you’re with. Without that openness, you may only be in a relationship with one side of your partner.
# Lies a lotThis is possibly one of the biggest red flags in a relationship. It tells you that your partner is keeping something from you. When you catch your partner lying about something, it may be because they are up to something behind your back. It can be hard to build trust with someone who’s constantly fibbing. And without trust, what kind of relationship do you really have?