Before we get into the reasons for a woman being unhappy in a marriage, it’s worth assessing if the unhappiness is created by her own mind – because of unrealistic expectations. The only thing a woman can do in that situation eases out those expectations. Let loose and understand that it’s your problem and not your husband’s.
If unrealistic expectations are not the case, though, then why stay in a marriage if you are unhappy? Men and women look at marriage differently. For most women, it’s difficult to leave a marriage because of many reasons including societal stigma, kids, and financial dependency. That’s why many choose to stay in a marriage when they are not happy. Below are some things that can make women unhappy in marriages.
# Sexual incompatibility
Devaleena shares, “Of all the couples I have seen in therapy, sexual incompatibility is predominantly why wives are unhappy in marriage. This goes either way. Marriage and sexual compatibility go hand in hand. They are not happy because their husbands aren’t able to satisfy them or all that husbands want from their wives is sex.”
When a married woman complains about her husband, it’s usually because there is something lacking in their sex life. Maybe the husband is selfish in bed or isn’t willing to try new things. Something is amiss in their physical intimacy.
# Lack of communication
Lack of communication is a big issue in many relationships. Communication is important to explain to the other person how you feel, what you want, and what’s wrong. When there are no proper means of conversing, either of the partners can feel they are unheard and unseen.
Why are wives so unhappy? Because their husbands are not able to communicate with them. Communication is the heart of the relationship. Find out why your partner is finding it difficult to communicate. Is the communication problem with you or him? Are you not able to comprehend what he is saying or is he not articulating it in a better way?
# When their opinions aren’t heard Not valuing your partner’s opinions is a sign of disrespect. In a marriage, there could be contradictory thoughts about how to raise children, how to handle expenses and the basics of how to run a family. You both can be right and wrong at the same time.You have to meet each other halfway if you want to have a healthy marriage. This is why wives are unhappy in marriages. Because their opinions aren’t heard, respected, or valued.
# Financial worries can make wives unhappy Here’s what our expert says can cause friction between a husband and wife:
- Husband is not being a responsible spender
- He is not earning enough
- He is a stingy spender
- He controls his wife’s finances
- He micromanages her budget and expenditure
Marriage and money problems are another common issue every married couple goes through. As a newly married woman, I can say that conversations about finances happen almost every day. How to spend, how much to spend, and what to spend on – these become daily concerns.
# Husbands who do not do their share of household choresWhen husbands complain in therapy and say, “I don’t know why my wife is unhappy with her life and with our marriage”, my response is always the same. I check if they do their part around the house. If both the partners are working, do the husbands equally contribute toward cooking and cleaning? Do they take the garbage out?
# When women have to raise kids on their own This is another stereotype women have to face and this is also why wives are unhappy in marriage. Raising children is no easy feat. A father’s participation and involvement are as important as a mother’s. Husbands are usually missing in action when it comes to co-parenting.
# Husbands who are always on the phone/always playing video games In
the last 10-15 years, this is a repeated contributor to why wives are
unhappy in marriages. Many wives complain that their husbands are always
on the phone even when they are not working. It’s one of the warning
signs your partner is losing interest in the relationship. They stare at
their mobile screen when the wife is trying to have a conversation.
# Husband’s drinking problems
A
married woman complains about her husband in her email to us. Wendy, a
35-year-old homemaker, shares, “My husband excessively drinks and
smokes. He comes home drunk almost every day. I don’t know what to do
anymore. I tried asking him to go to therapy because I know he is on the
verge of becoming an alcoholic. He just doesn’t see his drinking as a
problem.