The defining quality of a prosperous relationship is the ability to compromise. But drawing the lines is extremely necessary because compromise does not mean giving up your essence. It basically means developing a relationship based on appreciation, mutually and willingly accepted adjustments, along with kindness, respect, and trust. The compromise, thus struck, would be balanced and fair.
No doubt that the success of your relationship depends on compromise and keeping your partner’s needs in mind. Getting along with your partner requires believing in your partner and yourself. You love each other and have faith that the other person will not take advantage of your will to compromise in a relationship. The process of compromise shouldn’t destroy your peace of mind, rather, it should allow both of you to become better people together. To help you strike this balance, I’m here with a guideline on the 8 things you should never compromise in a relationship.
# Your individuality in a relationship should never be compromisedHow to compromise without losing yourself in a relationship? Well, never compromise your values and your uniqueness. Individuality is about your personal nature, the characteristics that make you who you are, your needs, and your quirks. Learn to self-love as you learn to love another person simultaneously. This does not mean your personality will not change at all. After all, being in a relationship will often change your beliefs and your way of seeing life, as long as it’s for the better.
But if your partner expects you to give up on your individuality and you notice yourself turning into a completely different person who you do not like, then it is time you re-evaluate your relationship. Your core personality is one of the things to never compromise in a relationship. If your partner expects you to change that, did they ever even love who you are, to begin with? Only a selfish partner would do that.
# The bond with your familyIt is highly possible that the wavelength of your partner and your family members does not match. Most of the time, you might be in a dilemma about how to make sure that your family and your partner see eye to eye. You can’t change the way both parties feel about one another. But if your partner fails to respect the bond you share with your family, then it should be a matter of concern.
Is it okay to compromise in a relationship? Yes, but not when your partner tries to sever your bond with your family members or tries to keep you away from them. Managing differences in a marriage or any relationship is important, but it doesn’t mean that they should not adjust to the things that are important to you and make some compromises for your happiness as well. Getting along with in-laws is hard but it’s not something your partner can ignore. After all, they are your family, and your partner’s too, by extension.
# Your professional lifeAll your life, you have been working toward your professional goals, before even your partner came along. An understanding partner will celebrate your professional success and help you achieve more in life. You may redefine your goals and priorities for the sake of the relationship, to a reasonable degree, but an encouraging partner will continue to strengthen you by simply being there.
Your professional life extends way beyond your romantic bond and is definitely one of the things to never compromise in a relationship, and your partner should respect that. However, if you find your significant other creating obstacles for you instead of encouraging you to do better, then it’s a clear sign they disrespect you and there is no point in continuing such a relationship.
# The friends you have and the time you spend with them
If your significant other wants you to give up hanging out with your friends or demands your time when you have something planned with them, ensure you do not yield to their pressure. Because that’s not a healthy way to compromise in a relationship. It is normal if your partner dislikes some of your friends for no valid reason whatsoever, but then it is their problem, not yours.
You do not have to stop seeing your friends or treat them as any less important, especially if they’ve always been there for you. Your friendships do not suddenly come to an end just because you are now in a relationship. What you have to do is to balance your friendship and love life, giving each of them due importance in your life.
# Your self-perception
A relationship should give you the opportunity to explore yourself completely and grow into a better person. It should make you feel positive about yourself. But if you find yourself feeling pessimistic all the time or not liking the way you are anymore, and you think it’s due to your partner, then it’s a valid reason to end a relationship. One of the things to never compromise in a relationship is your self-confidence and the positive light in which you see yourself. If your partner is making you question that, they may not be the one for you.
My best friend once dated a girl who gaslighted her into believing that she is not enough – not smart enough, not good-looking enough, not mature enough. Eventually, she became so nitpicky about mastering poised gestures, getting the winged eyeliner on point, and so on. She was a playful, messy girl, happy in her own ways. Then this new person came and turned her into a completely different person. It was a few months before she realized that there are certain things you can’t compromise in a relationship, and she refused to change herself any further.
# Your dignity
Never compromise your values and self-worth in a relationship. Your partner should respect you and enhance you, they should not mistreat you or compromise your dignity in any way. However, if your partner is constantly disrespectful toward you, make the hard but necessary choice to leave them. You should never have to compromise your dignity in a relationship.
If you want to talk about marriage compromises and sacrifices, this issue is even more prominent there. The disrespect majorly stems from one spouse earning less or not having a career or an independent ground of their own. When a person perceives that their spouse has nowhere else to go, they start belittling them at every step of life. You may ask, “Is marriage worth it then?” Well, of course, marriage is not about compromise (only). There are many perks of this beautiful union. But if mutual respect between the spouses is missing, there is no point in making an unhealthy compromise in a relationship.
# Your hobbies and interests
You may ask, “Should I compromise in a relationship when it comes to my passions and interests?” While being in a relationship, you should get a chance to indulge in the activities and hobbies that interest you. If you continuously feel that your partner does not like a particular thing that you do, which makes you distance yourself from that interest, then it means you are not truly free to be happy. You are compromising your personal time and a facet of your own development.
Is it okay to compromise in a relationship? Yes, but your hobbies and interests are the things that regulate and define you. If you both read and you develop a taste for your partner’s genre of books, that is an added dimension to your life. But giving up your reading or your choice of books is an unnecessary compromise in a relationship. You may outgrow your choices if you aren’t in a relationship, but making those changes for a partner is a dangerous sign.
# Your suggestions and opinions
You do not always have to have the same opinions and suggestions about everything. You’re bound to have differences. However, you have to know when your opinions are appreciated. Trusting your partner’s opinion is fine. But then depending on their decision-making ability without your own preferences or inputs is not much of a ‘harmless’ mistake in a relationship. If you are wondering when not to compromise in a relationship, put a pin on this one.
You both need to share your opinions with one another and incorporate these into the ultimate decisions you make as a couple. Also, look out if your partner is trying to influence all of your choices. Do they always pick the movies you both watch or where you go for dinner? Have you ever seen them reading the book that you gifted or listening to the song you shared? If not, they are not even considering your suggestions while you’ve made theirs your whole life. And that’s one of the things you can’t compromise in a relationship.