Raise your hand if you’ve been into a guy and couldn’t for the life of you figure out what he was thinking on any given day. Some days he was really touchy and flirty-signaling he was into you as more than just friends-and other days he was so withdrawn, it’s like you didn’t even know him at all.
All of these are the classic signs of him sending you mixed signals. Now, he might not be doing it on purpose, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. And now you’re left sitting in a circle with all your friends trying to decipher exactly what his actions mean.
If you’ve been in those shoes, you’re probably desperate for an answer as to what is going on in that pretty little head of his. Luckily, there are ways to deal with someone who is just tossing out different signals left and right.
# Verify your own emotions firstBefore you start investing so much time into someone that’s new and doesn’t seem to know what they want, make sure you know what you want. Do you really want someone who is wishy-washy? Are you really ready to deal with that onslaught of extra emotions?
Figuring out how you feel before spending so much time over someone you don’t know all that well will save you from wasting your time. Knowing how you feel yourself can help you process those signals you’re getting from him.
# Get some background informationBefore you start interpreting their strange behavior as sending mixed signals, get some background information on them first. Do they have anything rough going on in their life? Did they just get out of a bad relationship?
I don’t condone cyberstalking, but doing a little research on them might help you understand where their behavior is coming from. You may uncover something that can tell you why they’re acting a certain way.
# Don’t jump to conclusions right awayToo many people think if someone is sending mixed signals they’re just playing or using you. Don’t do this. There are so many reasons someone could be sending mixed signals-and sometimes they don’t even know they are!
Stay calm and try not to jump to the worst case scenario. There is probably a perfectly good explanation for what’s going on. Give it time.
# Give them a little space
If they’re practically giving you whiplash with their behavior lately, back off for a few days and give them some space. Sometimes guys get so overwhelmed with relationship stuff they don’t know how to act and have mini freak-outs.
See if giving them a little space helps the situation. They’ll have room to breathe and figure their stuff out, and you’ll have time to reevaluate what’s going on and make some decisions for yourself.
# Trust them
If you think your man is acting a little out of the ordinary, you’ll probably end up asking what’s wrong. When they give you an answer, you need to trust it’s the right answer, and they’re not throwing excuses at you.
The mistake many people make is thinking that guys are lying to cover up for something. You need to trust them at their word until they’ve give you a reason to mistrust them. And sometimes they might answer with, nothing. This can be frustrating, but it means there’s really nothing going on or they don’t want to discuss it with you. Either way, drop it.
# Talk to a friend about itSometimes your feelings for someone can cloud your judgement-as can insecurities. Talking to a friend can give you an unbiased opinion as to what is actually going on with your mysterious lover boy.
They can reassure you there might be a good reason behind their mixed signals, or they can tell you you’re being crazy and there are no mixed signals at all. Having a close friend you can rely on in this situation will help you deal with it.
# Don’t question them repeatedly
If you feel like something is really off, go ahead and ask them if anything is wrong. If they don’t open up or want to talk about it, leave it at that. Don’t keep pushing for an answer because all that will do is push them away.
Guys don’t like to talk about their problems with people. They’re the opposite of girls, really. They want to sit on their lonesome and figure it out by themselves. If he’s sending mixed signals and something may be behind it, let him deal with it and you keep being your normal self.
# Determine your relationship status early on
One of the reasons people have such a hard time when their guy starts sending mixed signals is because they’re unsure of the relationship status-or if there’s even a relationship there.
The lack of knowing if this person is yours, if they like you, or if you guys are just friends, often leads to confusion when it comes to their actions. Determining what you two are to each other will actually help you deal with the mixed signals.