It happens to many couples. After the wedding, you have the honeymoon phase. Everything is new and exciting. But once a few years go by, maybe you had kids, or work a lot, things tend to change. Your marriage goes from romance central to boredom highway, which is why you need to learn how to reconnect with your spouse.
In order to retain that spark and reconnect with your spouse, things need to change once again. Both, on your side and your partner’s. There isn’t a simple trick to bring things back, but with some empathy and effort, you’ll see that it is not as hard as you may think. As long as you are committed to reconnecting, all should go well.
# Recreate your first dateWhether you met at a bar, went to McDonald’s, or had a disaster date, something from that first date clicked. So recreate it as best as you can. Go to the same place, cook the same food, or even wear the same outfit.
This is a great start because it reminds you both of the days when you did have a connection. And the spark was just getting started.
# Realize you are not the sameDo not expect the same moves and dates to work as well as they once did. Both of you are different people now. So although those moments and memories can remind you of what you lost, alter those moments to who you are now.
Maybe you took risks and went on crazy adventures, but now you have more responsibilities. So reign back the danger and focus on the excitement.
# Work together toward a common goalIf you want to know how to reconnect with your spouse again, find something for you both to do together outside of the norm. Get away from the house and try something new. Take a cooking class, go to an escape room, or even teach each other something.
Working together on something fun is a wonderful way to reconnect and realize what made you such a great team in the first place.
# Talk and listenOnce you have been with someone for so long, you can go through life like a bit of a zombie. You may hear everything but don’t actually listen. So take the time.
Make sure you have breakfast together daily or carpool to work. Give yourself time to really talk and listen. Discuss your feelings, what you want, your plans, if you’re worried about something.
Communication isn’t just about sharing, but about listening and interacting.
# Put in the effortOnce you are comfortable with someone, it makes everything easier. You do not need to feel nervous or dress up. But there is something about having butterflies in your stomach that gives you chemistry and passion.
Dress up, get a wax, style your hair, and put in that effort that you did in the beginning.
First dates may be full of anxiety, but the effort you put into a first date is exciting. So get excited. Prepare for a date with your spouse as you did at the start of your romance.
# Get the family involvedRemember, things are different now, so reconnect with that in mind. You should have time alone, but involving your kids or families in your reconnection is just as important.
Take a family trip, plan a double date, or throw a barbecue and invite everyone over. This will get you back into a sense of normalcy while connecting in the midst of those you care about.
# Be spontaneousOnce you’re married, planning fun and exciting things to do at the last minute takes a back seat or just disappears altogether. But being spontaneous gives you a chance to know how to reconnect with your spouse in new and unique ways.
You don’t have to book a flight or skydive, but plan a surprise date. You can plan the time and the day, but let your spouse take control of what you’re doing. Then next time you do the same. Trusting your spouse may seem like a given, but you may have lost that without even realizing it.
# Try counselingSome would say, if all else fails, try counseling. But we say try counseling right off the bat. Why struggle when you can get the professional guidance to help right from the start? Counseling isn’t always for intense circumstances or divorce.
Talk to your spouse and tell them you do not want to lose your connection and the romance, but you don’t know how to start getting it back so you need a helping hand.