No relationship is smooth 100% of the time. There are always going to be ups and downs. Relationship challenges are part of the deal. If anyone tells you that their relationship is always fine and dandy, they’re literally lying to you.
Relationships are basically two people who don’t know each other at the start, learning about one another, and compromising in order to come together. Sometimes you come up against roadblocks and sometimes you just don’t want to compromise but find that you must over time.
If you want to stay together over the long term, you have to learn how to get over the hurdles you’re likely to face with humility and grace.
# Communicate effectivelyCommunication is the most important aspect of any relationship if it’s going to work. How are you going to overcome relationship challenges if you’re not able to talk about how you feel or listen to the other person?
You see, communication isn’t all about words, it’s about being able to hear the other person and read between the lines a little too. Any issue that comes your way will always be ten times harder if you’re not able to communicate with one another effectively.
# Don’t be selfishIf you’re always putting your needs before theirs, you’re going to run into more hurdles than needed. It’s vital to think of the other person and be flexible in your approach. It’s not all about you, just as it’s not always about them.
Whenever you do or say something, make sure that you’re not accidentally being selfish.
Are you opening yourself up to seeing things through their eyes, too? This is a great way to overcome relationship challenges. Additionally, it allows you to understand the problem at its very core.
# Don’t be a doormatIt’s important to remember just as much that it’s not all about them either. You must have your needs met as well. Everything should be equal. If you want to overcome relationship challenges, focus on equality and understanding. Remember the first suggestion – communication. All of this comes together to help you work towards success.
A partner who only thinks about themselves isn’t a good partner because you will never have your needs met. Then, resentment starts to creep in and before you know it, even more relationship challenges are at your door.
# Be prepared to compromiseIf you want to overcome a problem in a relationship, whether big or small, compromise is the answer. It doesn’t mean one person gets everything their own way and the other doesn’t have any of their needs or opinions listened to or met. Instead, you meet each other halfway.
You choose a suitable point where you both have a safe space in which to talk, express your feelings, and be listened to, then you find somewhere between the two points that allows you to overcome the challenge without one person feeling insecure.
# Always show empathy
Empathy is something you definitely need in a relationship. Without empathy, you’re not able to see the other side of the story.
You’re not able to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes, and as a result, you end up being selfish and focusing only on yourself.
Most relationship challenges don’t have a right or wrong answer, it’s normally about finding that middle ground we’ve talked about. You can only do that when you focus on having empathy and putting the success of your relationship before your own needs.
Despite that, you shouldn’t agree to or do anything which goes against your core values. There is such a fine line to walk here, but following your gut will always help you out.
# Give yourself a little spaceIt’s not possible to overcome common relationship challenges by being in each other’s pockets. Give yourself a little time and space.
If things are heating up and threatening to come to a head, it’s far better to spend a few hours or days cooling down before revisiting the situation with a clear mind. If you focus on things while feeling super-emotional, it won’t end well, and the other person will feel exactly the same.
So, while you don’t just cut all ties and say, “I need space,” both agree that you need to allow things to settle and have a few hours or even a few days to chill out. Then come together to talk things through.
# Avoid shouting at each otherWe talked about communication being important, but that doesn’t mean shouting. That’s not effective at all.
You
need to sit down and talk calmly once your emotions have settled. Also
make sure that you avoid blame language, such as “you make me …”, “you
do …”. Instead, focus on language such as “I feel like …” That way, you
can talk about things without emotions rising once more and you both end
up back at square one.
# Identify what the actual issue isWhen
you’re having relationship issues, there is normally something behind
it. What is the actual crux of the matter? It’s easy to sit down and
talk about the argument you’ve had, but are you actually solving the
issue behind it?
It might take a little soul searching and you
might need to spend some time considering the issue before deciding upon
what it is, but you can do that together.
However, make sure you
don’t sit down and talk about this until you’re both calm and in a
state of mind where you want to work together to fix things.