8 Tips To Move On From Your First Love

Ahhh, first love. You have that twinkle in your eye. You get butterflies. And everything feels so intense and passionate. That first date, holding hands, the first kiss, it is all so magical. You never imagined it could end. And when it eventually does, understanding how to move on from your first love can be a hard one for many.

Whether you were broken up with, you did the breaking up, one of you moved, or it was mutual, getting over that first love is a tough one. This wasn’t just puppy love. This was the first time you had genuine feelings for someone. So, how do you even begin to move on from your first love?

# Mourn

Be sad. This may sound counterproductive, but you cannot move on properly or with a healthy attitude if you haven’t given yourself time to grieve. You will miss this person, it is inevitable. There are routines you had, things you did, and moments you shared that are tough to let go of.

And you have every right to be upset. Don’t let anyone force you to move on and be happy before you are ready. When the time is right you will know when to get back to everyday life.

# Cry

Let it all out. Watch sappy movies. Talk to your friends. I once cried for three days straight after a breakup. I got it all out of my system and after that, I did not shed another tear for him.

# Save mementos

You almost definitely have memories and things that remind you of your first love. Whether that be a sweatshirt, photos, toothbrush, what have you, those things are like little stabs through the heart when you see them. So go through them and be sad, then put them away.

Save all photos to a hidden folder on your computer, put all their things in a box in the back of your closet. These things are hard to look at right now, but eventually, they can help you come to peace. Tossing them out can feel good in the moment, but later on, you might wish you didn’t.

# Let it out

Do what you need to do to get out all those feelings. For me personally, that is writing. I filled up entire notebooks when I had my first breakup ever. I just wrote and wrote until my hand was sore. So do what you need. Whether that be working out, playing an instrument, or painting.

If you want to learn how to move on from your first love the right way, do something productive that lets you release some of the feelings you are struggling with.

# Keep busy

Now you are onto the stage where life is getting back to normal. You are going to school, working, hanging out with friends. The laying in bed crying has stopped, but you still think about your first love every day.

This is the time to stay busy. Make plans and stick to them. The more you do the less you will be thinking about the breakup. It is not healthy to avoid your feelings, but it is healthy to prevent yourself from dwelling on the pain. You cried, you vented, now you need to get back to life without them.

# Accept that it is over

Hopefully, by now you can come to terms with the fact that this is your life now. You can function and survive without this person by your side. You do not need them. You won’t cry yourself to sleep. You may even start noticing attractive people while you’re out.

Once you admit to yourself that your first love is just that, your first, you can move on further.

# Go dark

I hate when people say this is juvenile because it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. The hardest part about moving on, especially from your first love is your continuing friendship. Often time breakups are so hard that you continue to talk to your ex, even regularly.

This leaves a door open to something happening in the future. It also makes you feel like you haven’t broken up. Talking daily doesn’t let you get used to life without them. Even if you have to mute them on social media or block them on your phone, do it. You can tell them that you need space to properly get over this relationship first.

But when I spent six months not talking to my first love after four plus years, I was finally able to see him in a different light. I got used to being away from him and didn’t rely on that relationship or communication to sustain me.

# Flirt

It may be time for some mingling. You do not have to go on a dating app or try to meet people. But a little light flirting with the cashier or the bartender won’t hurt. It will get you used to the idea of being single.

And it does not have to be scary or intimidating. There is no commitment when it comes to flirting, so see how it feels. Does it feel like you’re a little lighter and freer, or are you still thinking about your ex? This will get your toes wet in the pool of dating so you can see if you’re ready.