Fleabagging encompasses a few different patterns of behavior. One example is repeatedly falling for the same type of person, even though you know deep down that they're not a good fit for you. Despite the pain and heartache they cause, you convince yourself that this is simply the type of person you're drawn to, and you can't help it.
You create justifications, blaming one person for one reason and another person for another reason, hoping that eventually one of them will work out. However, even though they've proven themselves to be incompatible or harmful, you stubbornly resist acknowledging the truth.
Another aspect of fleabagging involves consistently making poor relationship choices. You move from one relationship to another without much consideration or genuine connection. It's as if you're in a relationship just for the sake of being in one, even when there's little compatibility or emotional bond.
The final form of fleabagging is repeatedly returning to the same person, despite knowing deep down that the relationship is destined for failure. You've been through the cycle multiple times, perhaps even three or more, and you're fully aware of the disastrous outcomes. Nonetheless, you remain willing to give it another chance, ignoring the evidence that it never goes well.
# It’s time to look withinThe focus of fleabagging lies solely on you.
Instead of blaming others or using your past as a justification for your actions, it's crucial to recognize that the responsibility for change rests with you. If you desire to alter how others perceive you, you must first alter your own perception of yourself.
Fleabagging is a behavior that you inflict upon yourself, so it's essential to introspect and understand the underlying reasons behind it. Take a sincere look within and uncover the motivations driving your actions.
# It’s you, not themThe individuals you are attracting and choosing to date are not the right fit for you. Thus, the power to alter your actions and behavior lies solely within you.
Reflect upon the areas where you may be making mistakes in selecting your dating partners and contemplate how you can make positive changes in that regard. It is essential to assess what aspects of your decision-making process can be modified to improve your choices.
# Look at your life valuesWhat are your aspirations for your life?
Are you interested in starting a family? Do you have a desire to explore different parts of the world? Perhaps you envision a life surrounded by loved ones. Is religion a significant aspect of your life?
Take the time to acknowledge what holds importance for you. Identify your values, goals, and dreams, and seek out someone who shares similar priorities.
# What are your needs?What are your requirements? It's a question we often overlook, yet it holds great significance.
What are the essential qualities you seek in a partner? What traits are you looking for? Is trustworthiness a non-negotiable for you? Do you value kindness? Are you seeking someone with a great sense of humor?
Devote ample time to contemplate your needs, and then invest even more time to assess whether a prospective partner can fulfill those needs. If they fall short, it's best not to pursue a relationship with them.
# What are your deal-breakers?Establishing personal boundaries is crucial. Without them, you are essentially inviting trouble into your life.
Identify the aspects that you absolutely refuse to accept from a partner. Define your own set of rules regarding what aligns with your well-being. A common example is when you are certain about wanting children in the future, but your partner does not share the same desire.
If this particular aspect is a deal-breaker for you, stand firm in your convictions and be willing to let go of the relationship. Your boundaries and values should be respected, and it's important to prioritize your own needs and happiness.
# Focus on self-love and self-worth
You find yourself repeatedly dating individuals of a similar type, and as a result, you face consistent disappointment because you lack self-respect. While it may sound blunt, this observation holds truth.
If you truly respected yourself, you would not persist in pursuing those who are clearly incompatible with you. Therefore, redirect your attention inward and prioritize the development of your self-esteem and self-worth if you genuinely wish to break free from the cycle of fleabagging.
# Date yourself firstWhile it may be an overused phrase, it holds significant wisdom.
If you genuinely desire to put an end to fleabagging, consider embarking on a journey of self-discovery by dating yourself first. Take the time to delve deeper into understanding your own identity. Cultivate self-love and find joy in your own company.
By doing so, you will gain valuable insights into your own personality, desires, and the qualities you truly seek in a partner. This self-awareness will help you identify the type of person you genuinely need and increase your chances of forming a fulfilling and compatible relationship.
# Take it slowIf you wish to put an end to dating the wrong individuals, it's essential to adopt a slower pace.
There's no requirement to rush into intimacy with the first person you encounter, nor should you hastily initiate a relationship with someone you just met.
Allow yourself the freedom to take things at a leisurely pace. Refrain from getting involved with someone solely due to a sense of desperation or the need to fill a void. Embrace the power of choice and exercise patience in order to make more thoughtful and discerning decisions about your romantic connections.