Let’s just get one thing straight. Regardless of what side you’re on, breaking up sucks. If you’re planning on breaking up with your partner, it takes a lot of deep thought, time, and courage to take this hard step. Of course, you know it’s for the best, but it’s hard when you care for that person. And even harder when you have to figure out how to break up when he doesn’t want to.
I remember my first break up. I told him that I saw him as more of a brother than anything romantic. Okay, cut me some slack, I was sixteen. If it makes you feel any better, he’s now married with a baby. See? He survived.
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Think about the relationship
You need to be prepared. Before you sit down to officially break up with him, think about what you’re going to tell him. Why do you want to break up with him? What’s the reason? He’s going to ask you and that’s when you’re going to have to be ready with a response that doesn’t sound like you read it out of a self-help book.
# Think aheadYou know him pretty well, I hope, so you know how he’s going to respond when you tell him you want to break up. Of course, he’s not going to like it, but he’s going to approach the situation in a specific way.
Will he cry, yell, or start listing off reasons why you’ll never find anyone better than him? You’re the only one who knows. So, prepare for how he’s going to react and stay firm in your decision.
# You have to be honestListen, I know you read some articles and they probably told you to use the classic “it’s not you, it’s me” line. Come on, you know that isn’t going to work. This is someone you care about, so you’re going to have to be honest with them, they deserve that, no? He may see that it’s over but he wants justification, he wants to know why. This is your chance to tell him why.
# Be firm about breaking upHe’s going to try every trick in the book if he doesn’t want this to end. And there will be a moment when you’re going to reconsider your decision, especially when he tells you that he’ll change. I should start by saying that he won’t change. He’s just not going to change.
So, you need to stand firm in your decision, and when he tries to sweet-talk you, don’t budge. It’s going to be hard, but it’s necessary in order for you to end the conversation and move on with your life.
# Be calmThere’s no reason for you to be angry, you’re the one ending the relationship. You may be sad, but you’re talking with them not to start a fight but to peacefully end this relationship saga. There’s no need to yell or cry. What you need to focus on is saying what’s on your mind and making sure he gets it.
# Keep the conversation shortWhen it comes to figuring out how to break up when he doesn’t want to, this doesn’t have to be some dramatic saga that appears on daytime television. You need to keep the conversation short. Firstly, because this is going to be exhausting so save yourself some energy. Secondly, your ex is going to be anxious and upset, so he’s not going to be hearing half of the things you say to him. Keep the conversation short and the sentences short as well.
# Make sure you said it allYou don’t want to be the one that reaches out to him because you didn’t have your closure. This is your moment to tell him everything you ever wanted to say about the relationship. Of course, don’t be cruel, you’re not trying to kick him down.
This is your moment to be completely honest and tell him what was wrong in the relationship. He can use this information in the next relationship he goes into.
# Stand upWhen you’re done talking and he’s done talking, stand up. If you continue sitting you’re allowing the conversation to continue. Really, there’s nothing more to talk about. By standing up you’re showing that the conversation is coming to an end and you’re serious about your decision.