What exactly is poise? It is a way of communicating to the world that you’re a lady of class and elegance. This form of nonverbal communication says a lot about you, as it projects an appealing image to the world. Poise is exuded in everything you say and do. From your posture, to the words that come out of your mouth, and how you carry yourself, all of this says a lot about who you are.
Before getting into the ABCs of developing poise, you have to understand the two fundamentals of elegance. First and foremost, you need to respect yourself. If you don’t respect and love yourself, there is no need for you to develop poise; it’s going to be totally lost on you.
Stuck in an unhappy relationship? Leave him. Feel taken advantage of by your colleagues? Organize a team meeting to fix it. The sooner you start loving and respecting yourself, the sooner you can begin your journey of developing poise and class.
Second of all, you have to build up your confidence. If you’re unhappy with the way you look, go to the gym. If you don’t like your hair, get a new hair color. No matter what you’re unhappy about, fix it. Once you can look in the mirror and not cringe at what you see, you will notice a spike in your confidence level.
# Pick a mentorLike everything else, if you want to do it right, you have to learn from a master. There are women all over the world, from all eras and generations, who ooze charm and poise. Pick one, and absorb how she walks and talks. If you’re stuck, simply pick an actress and watch all her movies.
If they’re readily available, read her biography and load up on her interviews. I highly recommend studying Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. They are the epitome of elegance and will be great role models if you’re looking to develop poise.
# Carefully select your outfitCoco Chanel once said, “Before leaving the house, a lady should look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” In other words, be careful when selecting your outfit and be sure to keep it classy. Less is more, when trying to exude poise and elegance, so listen to Coco and do it right.
# Correct bad habits
Nothing is more hideous than watching a lady bite her nails. Correct all the little flaws that you have and be more mindful of how you act in public. Hair twirling is another no-no, and so is your Bitchy Resting Face. Wonder what a Bitchy Resting Face is? Crawl out from under that rock you’ve been hiding under and check this out.
# Be gentleAnother way to exude poise is to be gentle. Remember not to be a loudmouth the next time you’re out for drinks with your friends, and you’re well on your way to developing a sliver of poise. Also remember to be especially gentle when reacting to someone else. Consider their feelings and be kind, no matter the circumstance.
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Smile moreSmile more, and you will be sure to turn heads. I don’t mean flashing toothy grins and ear-to-ear smiles for no reason at all. I mean small, knowing half-smiles. The goal is to light up the room without making others believe that you’re insane. When you have a smile on your face, you will not only exude poise, you’ll also display a lovely sense of class.
# Be respectfulAnother simple way to develop poise is to always be respectful. It doesn’t matter where you are, or what you’re doing. Whether you’re over at a friend’s house for cocktails, or in the boardroom debating the pros and cons of a takeover, be mindful and respectful of your environment. There is nothing uglier than seeing a lady lose it over something miniscule.
# Be aware of your presence
You’re at a 5-star hotel lobby and, suddenly, you hear a ruckus at the front door. You turn and see a celebrity sweeping in, her head held high, large sunglasses covering half her face, adoring fans and photographers swarming around her. Despite the chaos, she purposefully struts forward to the waiting elevator, almost as though she is oblivious to everything and everyone in her way.
Poise comes in many forms. One way is by being aware of your presence, but acting like you’re unaware of it. Sounds rather confusing, but it really isn’t. You may not be a celebrity with dozens of people clamoring for your attention, but there’s no reason why you can’t have the confidence and poise to act like you do.
# Watch your postureA very important factor in developing poise is developing great posture. All the greats have impeccable posture. From Audrey Hepburn to Nicole Kidman, posture is everything when it comes to looking and feeling great.
According to former editor-in-chief of Vogue Paris, Carine Roitfeld, “The most important thing is posture: when you get old, it’s the way you walk, the way you stand, that shows it.” Here is a great site that you can check out to work on that posture of yours.