You know that feeling when you stand in a crowded room, but you feel alone? Okay, this could be for various reasons, but there’s a high chance that you’re not actually emotionally connected to anyone in that room. Knowing how to emotionally connect with someone isn’t as easy as it looks, but these are the components to make it happen.
All of our close relationships are based on emotional connection. It’s what makes or breaks a relationship. You have those friends you party with and the friends you sit and talk about your problems with. The difference between those two types of friends is the level of emotional intimacy.
# This is fear basedYou’re scared. You’re scared to open up to this person. Why? Maybe you’ve been backstabbed by someone else or made fun of. Though you passed through it, those traumatic situations stick to you. Trauma sticks to everyone.
Sure, you look fine and act like yourself, but you can’t take that next step into emotional intimacy. In short, fear prevents you from developing a connection with someone.
# Speak from your heartIt’s easy to have a conversation with someone. You can talk about the weather, puppies, beer. It’s not hard to strike up small talk. What is challenging is speaking honestly from your heart. Now, that’s a completely different story.
It’s easy for us to agree with someone or tell them that those pants don’t make them look fat, but telling someone they’re wrong or that those pants need to come off isn’t easy. But this is what builds trust.
# Connect with the mindI don’t know who you want to emotionally connect to. Maybe it’s a friend or a love interest. What I do know is if you’re scared to connect with them emotionally, trying something sexual/physical first isn’t going to cut it.
I mean, if you do couple’s yoga, that’s different. If you want to f*ck your way to emotional connection, you’re taking a shortcut. Connect through conversation.
# This is fear basedYou’re scared. You’re scared to open up to this person. Why? Maybe you’ve been backstabbed by someone else or made fun of. Though you passed through it, those traumatic situations stick to you. Trauma sticks to everyone.
Sure, you look fine and act like yourself, but you can’t take that next step into emotional intimacy. In short, fear prevents you from developing a connection with someone.
# Speak from your heartIt’s easy to have a conversation with someone. You can talk about the weather, puppies, beer. It’s not hard to strike up small talk. What is challenging is speaking honestly from your heart. Now, that’s a completely different story.
It’s easy for us to agree with someone or tell them that those pants don’t make them look fat, but telling someone they’re wrong or that those pants need to come off isn’t easy. But this is what builds trust.
# Connect with the mindI don’t know who you want to emotionally connect to. Maybe it’s a friend or a love interest. What I do know is if you’re scared to connect with them emotionally, trying something sexual/physical first isn’t going to cut it.
I mean, if you do couple’s yoga, that’s different. If you want to f*ck your way to emotional connection, you’re taking a shortcut. Connect through conversation.
# Empathy is key
You know the old saying, “Don’t judge someone unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Yes, well, that’s called empathy. Okay, you won’t actually walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, but you have to try to put yourself in their position. That way, when you discuss something on a deeper level, you will be able to understand their point of view.
# Allow vulnerabilityThe only way you emotionally connect with someone is if you let your guard down. I know it’s scary, and you’ve probably been hurt before. If you want a meaningful relationship, you need to take a risk. I’m not saying you won’t be hurt again, you may be, but through this risk, you may gain something deep and profound. You have to risk it, man.