Saying that a breakup is painful can be an understatement. Aside from the overwhelming pain, there’s the confusion from all the unanswered questions in your head. So, learning how to get over being dumped becomes vital.
You develop a sense of hopelessness because this relationship once made you happy. You looked forward to a future that will no longer be there the next time you wake up.
Breakups are a drag especially if you got the short end of the stick by being dumped. But like any other setback in life, it is merely a temporary phase. The quicker you realize the only way to cope with the pain is by moving on and getting over the breakup, the faster you move forward with your life. Easier said than done, isn’t it?
Here are some tips to help you along the way.
# Sort out, and “feel” your feelingsJust like people grieve when they lose a loved one, a person who is dumped needs to feel and own those negative emotions. The break-up is still fresh. There’s no shame in feeling bad.
Ignore those who tell you that “it’s going to be okay” or “don’t feel bad.” It’s perfectly okay not to feel okay. As popular wisdom puts it, you need to assess the damage before you rebuild again.
# Release those pent-up emotions
It may sound cliché, but do whatever heartbroken people do. Get hammered, cut your hair, cry yourself to sleep, write a 2000-word blog post about the break-up, eat ice cream while watching romantic comedies, or open up to your best friend.
Any catharsis allows you to act out and release all that pain you feel inside. This way, you let go of those unpleasant emotions and start the healing process.
# Cease communication with your ex until emotionally and mentally soberThe next step is damage control. Stay away from the source of your pain, especially if the break-up is still recent.
Do you still have lingering feelings? You won’t be able to discuss anything in a rational manner or make sound decisions if you meet or communicate with your ex. So delete their number and remove them from social media for the time being.
# Absolutely NO sex with your exSex with the ex is possibly the stupidest mistake after being dumped. Being in such a vulnerable state confuses your feelings. It makes you jump into impulsive decisions that you may regret later on. So even if the temptation is strong, strictly follow tip three.
# Stay off any social media platform that reminds you of getting dumpedWe all know social media is a cruel place, especially for emotionally vulnerable people. In addition to this, it oozes with photos, posts, and memories of the time spent with your ex. Do yourself a favor and log off in the meantime to prevent you from stalking your ex and revisiting old photos.
# Don’t rush, take your time
Moving on has no deadline. The time it takes varies per person. It may take you weeks, months, or years even, so don’t be in a rush to forget, rather let time heal your wounds. Moving on at your own pace helps you sort out your thoughts and feelings better, so no hurries.
# Sort out your thoughts: accept the factsNow that you managed to set your feelings straight, move on by rationally accepting several facts about the breakup. The first order of business, accept the fact that your old relationship is gone and move forward with your life.
There is a moment of clarity after a breakup where you finally let go of those “what ifs” of trying to win the relationship back and instead start taking your own life back.
# Let go of your resentmentIf you truly want to know how to get over being dumped, start by accepting that the relationship had some good memories too.
After rejection, people are naturally prone to hating and resenting their ex for the pain they caused them. However, carrying such emotional baggage is unhealthy and prevents you from fully moving forward.