It’s frustrating, isn’t it?You try hard as a parent. You do so much for your children, but they’re frequently not respectful toward you.Sometimes they ignore what you say, or they talk back to you. They even ask you to stop nagging.
I’ve spoken to and worked with close to 25,000 children and teenagers so far, so I know what will get them to respect you as a parent.When I say “respect”, I’m referring to a sense of admiration and honour that your children have toward you.I’m not referring to your children feeling afraid of you.
In other words, if you want to get your children to respect you, you’ll need to earn it.Here are some tips that will help you to do just that .
# Respect your childrenChildren learn from watching you, and they’re likely to copy your behaviour. When you demonstrate basic respect toward your children, they’ll demonstrate respect toward you.
I’m not saying that you should let your children walk all over you. But I am saying that you shouldn’t belittle or shame them, nor should you criticise them harshly.
# Focus more on the relationship than the rulesYou don’t need to throw out the rulebook.Just show your children that you value the parent-child relationship by speaking kindly to them and trying to understand their perspective.
# Be a person of integrityBe honest when talking to your children.When they see that you’re a person of integrity, you’ll gain their respect.
# Don’t overreactTry not to overreact to your children’s less-than-ideal behaviour, even when you’re feeling stressed.
When you stay calm and respond appropriately, they’re more likely to respond in kind too.
# Assume your position as leader of the homeBeing a leader isn’t just about being in charge. It’s also about setting a good example and inspiring others to do their best.Behaving like a leader also means being compassionate.
When you empathise with your children, they’ll be more open to your suggestions and opinions.
# Share your values and beliefs with your children
You can’t force your children to adopt your beliefs. But when your children understand why you believe what you believe, they’ll recognise that you’re a person of principles.
# Be reasonable (especially when your children are being unreasonable)Sometimes it’s frustrating being a parent, but try to stay calm. Remember that the way you behave when you’re angry is the way they’re likely to behave when they’re agitated too.
Be the bigger person, and don’t resort to name-calling or cheap shots – even if you feel like your children deserve it.
# Don’t be overly critical of your childrenWhen parents are overly critical, their children start to resent them and become rebellious and argumentative.
Instead, acknowledge your children’s good behaviour and focus more on the process than the end result.