8 Ways To Handle a Crush When You are in a Relationship

A lot of people have been there – having a crush when you’re in a relationship.

Imagine this scenario. You know you are treading on thin ice, but you go along with it on the basis that you are advancing your professional career.

Next thing you know, you are exchanging work emails. Coffee meet-ups followed, then work lunches ensued.

The sexual energy was palpable and although they are aware that you are in a committed relationship, they don’t desist. Flirtatious suggestions and a little bit more take place. Most crushes start pretty innocently. However, it can get dangerous if it accidentally crosses over into emotional affair territory.

How do you know if it’s gone too far? Well, give yourself this test. If something good or bad happens, who do you want to tell first? Your partner, or your crush?

If your answer is your crush, then the emotional – and maybe even the physical – intimacy you have with your partner could be threatened. You are probably having fantasies about your crush, and that’s not a good sign for your relationship.

# Enjoy it

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the fact that you’ve still “got it.” It’s nice knowing that someone besides your partner wants to be with you.

Enjoy the moment but be sure to stop there and not take it any further.

# Don’t agree to solo meetups

Your crush may ask you out for a solo meet up or you might feel the itch and want to arrange a one-on-one.

Whether it’s for a cup of java or a jog in the park, something that may seem harmless at first will escalate into a situation that you’ll regret.

# Minimize your time together

If you know that you’re going to see your crush at a party, be friendly but don’t spend all night chatting each other up.

If you work together, keep it professional and don’t dally around the coffee machine waiting for them to show up. Wherever you might see them, be sure to keep a considerable distance between you.

# Keep it civil

As hard as this may be, don’t turn on the charm when you’re around your crush. Treat them like everyone else and be sure not to shower them with special treatment.

The key is to keep things civil and somewhat cold between you. If you act like there’s nothing between you, then eventually nothing will happen.

# Don’t pursue online communication

It’s not a good idea to physically meet up, but what about hanging out online? It may seem harmless, but it’s best not to indulge.

Trust us when we tell you that one DM here, one text there, one poke here, or one ‘like’ there is never enough. One thing will lead to another and that’s where the problem lies.

# Don’t share too much

Be sure not to build an emotional bond with your crush. Never share personal details, especially if it has to do with your relationship.

Your crush doesn’t need to know that your girlfriend yells at you more often than she should, or that your husband is more concerned about making money than working on your relationship. Once you forge a bond with your crush and lean on them for support, you’ve thrown yourself into the deep end

# Don’t tempt fate

Always remember that it’s not worth giving in to lust. You may enjoy the butterflies in your stomach, and you may miss that feeling of being wooed.

You may enjoy receiving newfound attention and affection from someone other than your partner. No matter what, always keep in mind that you shouldn’t play with fire unless you’re willing to get burned.

# Keep your distance

If you move in the same social circles as your crush, it’s inevitable that you’ll run into each other. However, you should try to avoid them where you can. If you run into each other at a party, make the customary rounds, enjoy everyone’s company, then leave early.

Don’t push your luck because if you’re both still there at the end of the night, you’ll end up gravitating towards each other even more so if alcohol is involved.