8 Ways To Know If You Should Stay in Your Relationship

Rocky relationships can feel draining, where you’re always waiting until the next time something terrible happens. It can feel like everyone around you is in a better relationship while you’re still dealing with pettiness, mistrust, and/or communication problems.

But maybe not all is lost: a rocky relationship is simply the type of relationship that needs work, a lot of work, before it can be the best it can possibly be. All those other happy, healthy relationships that you may know went through several rocky stages before getting to a more stable point. Yours doesn’t have to fail, but both you and your partner have to be willing to put in effort, time, and patience.

# You both talk about your problems, even if you lack healthy communication techniques

You may end up arguing and getting impatient, but you both still try to talk about your concerns and point of view. This shows that you both care enough to try, even while knowing you could use better ways of communicating. It means you value the relationship, and are therefore willing to reach a better point, one in which you’ll talk patiently and effectively.

Despite how grim things seem now, you have a foundation to build from. Now you both just need to find ways of calming down and getting your message across without getting into a fight.

# Despite your problems, you have fun together and share many funny, happy, and healthy memories

It’s tough to let something go when there’s plenty of good times, even if there are many darker ones. If you both agree you have chemistry and a great dynamic, regardless of the drama, then maybe there’s a chance here.

The trick lies in finding ways to cut down on the bad times, and build up the good, which you can do if you both sit down and figure out what works and what doesn’t.

# Neither one of you feels a strong desire to call it quits

No one really enjoys a breakup, even if they deny it and act happy, but there are times when people genuinely want to break things off because they’re unhappy. Wanting to call it quits and being willing to endure the mourning process means you’ve already moved on from the relationship.

If neither one of you feels this way at all, but you both genuinely want to solve things, then there’s a building block to work with. Now all you need to do is come to terms with the problems and come up with possible solutions *no matter how small*, so you can remain in the relationship and not ever feel the need to run for the hills.

# The love is there, and you really don’t have eyes for anyone else

It’s safe to say that if there isn’t love on either side of the relationship, you should break up. There’s no point anymore, and you’re clearly interested in seeing other people. But if the love is there, and it’s so strong you can’t even fathom the idea of being with anyone else, then you owe it to yourselves and each other to try.

Love isn’t easy to come by. The world is filled with people who are lonely or in relationships out of comfort. If you have something real, it’d be a shame to throw it all away over issues that you could work through together.

# Neither one of you is in denial, and you’re both aware of your relationship problems

It sounds ridiculous, really, but this is a pretty big deal. If one or both of you is in denial, you’ll downplay problems, neglect things you need to solve, and even let issues fester and mutate into something far worse than it ever was. Like a disease, it will spread into everything you do together, sucking the joy out of sex, lounging time, date nights, and eventually, your lives.

If you both do not have this issue and are more than aware of the problems without sugar coating them, then you have a healthy perspective of what’s going on, and you can take realistic steps to fix it.

# You’ve always said sorry and gone the extra mile to make things up to each other after an argument

Saying sorry is hard for everyone, whatever the situation. You have to put pride aside, own up to your mistakes, and ask someone else for forgiveness.

The act is a vulnerable one, but if you and your partner do it and find ways to make things better after an argument *crazy sex, special date, special food or event, doing some more of those small things that speak more than words, etc.*, then you deserve to give your relationship a second chance.

# You can confidently say that you are better together, stronger and far more focused on priorities

Think back to when you were single, however long ago it was: what weren’t you doing that you started doing while in your relationship? Maybe you were in school, barely passing your classes, and now you’re done with college, after graduating Summa Cum Laude. Or perhaps you were partying too much, making poor choices, but you now focus on your responsibilities and have a better head on your shoulders.

Now think of your partner. How has their situation changed for the better? Whatever you do while in a relationship tends to be a reflection of your partner. Healthy relationships are composed of people who inspire and motivate each other to do better. If this is you, don’t throw your relationship away.

# The issues you have do not include other people, unfaithfulness, vengeance, or abuse

Some people can get past cheating, but most do not for a reason: it means your relationship lacks something, or your partner does, and you chose to go off the beaten path to find it because it meant more to you than the relationship. To each their own, and some really do move on and lead happy relationships thereafter.

However, if your relationship is rocky, you’re already in a vulnerable state. Anything related to infidelity, abuse, or even vengeance *i.e. always wanting to get back at your partner, no matter how small the issue* will end your relationship. This is a blessing in disguise because although you’re in distress, you’ve also rid yourself of an unhealthy situation. Now, if this does not apply to you in the slightest, then you shouldn’t be contemplating ending things for good.