This is probably one of the most common questions people ask me. They all want to know how to tell if a girl is gay. Listen, at the end of the day, you can’t really tell someone’s sexuality.
No one has “I’m gay” or “I’m straight” written on their foreheads. Sexuality is quite private for many people. Of course, some people give stronger hints of their sexuality, but it’s not always easy to spot.
When I was in high school and university, I was a tomboy. I dressed in sweat pants and always had my hair in a messy ponytail. Did it confuse a lot of people? Of course, it did. Many people assumed I was either a lesbian or bisexual.
# Ask her nicelyI’m emphasizing the word ‘nicely.’ You can’t just walk up to someone and ask them, “are you a lesbian?” First of all, it’s offensive, and secondly, you’re not going to get an answer. But if you ask in a polite manner, she may tell you if you’re a woman. Now, if you’re a man, she may not be so willing.
# Trust your instincts
If you’re a woman and there’s another woman smiling at you and giving you an eye, she’s probably trying to see whether or not you’re into women. And at that moment, you’ll have an instinctual feeling of what’s going on. If your gut is telling you that she’s interested in you, you’re probably right. And this goes for any sexuality and any person. Follow your gut.
# Don’t go by the nailsSo many people will look at a girl’s nails to see whether or not she’s a lesbian. Listen, I have short nails, and I’m not a lesbian. Now, there are many lesbians who don’t have long nails because of sex. But then there are other lesbians that do.
So, be wary when using the whole “short nails” sexuality test.
# She hints it in conversationSome people try to give you hints through their conversation with you. Maybe she tells you the neighborhood she lives in which is known as an LGBTQ area of town or name drops the last partner she had which happens to be a girl. By talking to her, you’ll be able to find out more information.
# Eye contact
We often overlook the subtle clues such as eye contact. But in this case, eye contact is a huge way to tell someone’s sexuality. If she’s staring at you just a little bit longer than normal, she may be checking you out. Most of our communication with other people is done non-verbally. Before even speaking to them, you can get the clues you need through their actions.
# How she acts around men
When a straight woman is around an attractive guy, you’ll see her behavior change. She may smile more, laugh, and flirt with him. But if she’s a lesbian, she’s not interested in attracting him. She won’t try to impress him or flirt with him. Why? Because she doesn’t want to go home with him.
# She’s dated girls in the pastI don’t know your
relationship to her, but if you both have mutual friends, I would do a
little research. If they’ve told you she’s dated women in the past, it
could mean she’s either bisexual or a lesbian. Either way, she’s
interested in women. Dating history is a great way to figure out who
they are into.
# The way she dressesThis one is
tricky because there are tomboy-like lesbians, femme lesbians, and
others who don’t have a distinct style. Of course, the stereotype is
lesbians have short hair and dress very masculine. For some, this is how
they look. So, you can use this as a way to identify one type of
lesbian. But, don’t group lesbians under one umbrella.