8 Ways You Can Be a Better Listener

Has your partner ever complained about your inability to hear what they are saying? It is probably not because you are hard of hearing. You just have a little problem when it comes to listening to your partner. Learn how to be a better listener in a relationship by heeding what we have to say.

You’d be surprised by just how many couples have trouble with effective communication. Most relationship problems are caused by this, which makes it an important skill to master. Now that you know what to look for, you can start to hone your skills in order to become a better listener. Remember that it is not just about remembering what your partner says. You need to internalize it and respond appropriately when necessary.

# Hear them

Before you can listen, you have to be aware that your partner is talking to you. If you are busy and hear them talking to you, stop what you are doing and talk to them. If you can’t do that, tell them that you will be with them shortly. This is one of the most important things to keep in mind when learning how to be a better listener in a relationship.

If they don’t feel acknowledged, you’re already invalidating their feelings and not listening to them. Miscommunication happens when a person is too wrapped up in what they are doing and then fails to realize that their partner is talking to them.

It only takes a few seconds of your day to tell your partner that you’ll be with them in a second, instead of just assuming they know. They can’t read your mind, you know?

# Apologize

If you did not hear your partner the first time, apologize and try to correct the situation. Try not to let it happen again because an apology will not work on the same situation a second time around. Also, if your partner is trying to tell you about an error in your actions, assuming that it really is you in the wrong, apologize.

Don’t just listen to them ranting about your mistakes. Say sorry and show them you’ll do better. You can be a better listener simply by apologizing whenever you see fit, especially when they don’t feel acknowledged enough or when you did something wrong.

This is the one thing people are bad at doing but is so crucial in effective communication.

# Make a note of what your partner is saying

If your partner complains that you keep forgetting stuff, write it down. Put it in a visible place or set an alarm on your phone or computer. If your reason is forgetting what they’re saying and not because you didn’t listen enough, it always helps to write everything down.

This way, you won’t have an excuse to forget everything they just told you. You’re being accountable for your listening skills with this piece of advice.

# Understand what they are saying

It is not just about knowing what language you and your partner speak. You need to think hard about what they are saying. You have to understand how it affects you. You also need to know how you can help them if they are talking about a problem.

Don’t just hear the words coming out of their mouth, but also process what they’re trying to tell you. Being a good listener is all about reading these cues, even with the words not said aloud. So talk their language and try to see what they’re really trying to say.

# Do not give unsolicited advice

Always wait for them to ask for your help. When they do not ask for it, do not just leave it at that. Ask them if they need your help. Some people really just need an ear to listen, and this is especially true for your partner.

Before giving unsolicited advice, it’s best to know if they’re looking for someone to listen to or someone to provide them with advice. If it’s the latter, that’s your only confirmation to give them advice.

If you really want to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship, don’t just freely give advice they never asked for in the first place. Learn when to speak advice, and learn when just to listen.

# Do not interrupt them

Interrupting someone when they talk makes it harder for you to remember what that person is saying. It is also rude. Your partner may resent you for it. If you have something to say about the matter, wait until they pause or stop talking. This can be a hurtful act, most especially to your partner.

How would you feel if they interrupted you every time you said something important for you? We’re pretty sure it’s not a good feeling. So if you want to be a good listener in your relationship, stop interrupting them. Let them finish their sentences and only speak once they’re done.

It might sound like a simple thing, but it would mean the world for your partner. Especially as many of us don’t realize how much we interrupt sentences with the people we’re speaking to.

# Acknowledge what they are saying

Do not just stare blankly at your partner while they are talking. Always acknowledge them with enthusiastic nods or by saying words like “Yes,” “Uh-huh,” “I see,” or anything appropriate for the conversation. It might seem like such a small detail, but they will appreciate you for showing that you are indeed listening to them.

How else will they know you’re actually paying attention or that you’re interested in the conversation? These simple body language cues mean the world to your partner and encourage them to keep going. Especially if you haven’t been the best listener before, this will do your relationship a lot of good!

# Do your best to give them what they need

If your partner asks you for something that you can provide, try and remember to do it. If it is something that you can’t do for them, tell them your reasons and help them understand your decision. But if what they’re asking is the bare minimum, you should at least give it to them.

Maybe all they’re asking is a bit more quality time with you or that you open up more. In this case, you really should try to be better, especially as it probably took a lot of courage on their end to open up about the things bothering them.